The waves...
Sorry about going over the same old issues of grief yesterday... I realized when I got up this morning that it's just like with divorce... it comes in waves, you ride them out, and they get less and less... and I do have the excuse that I wasn't feeling well which ALWAYS makes me feel more down than usual. Now all I have to do is pay attention to the distance between the waves (which means I'll see progress and it won't be so depressing next time)...
Crafting yesterday.. well that worked! I got playing with my sewing machine, let the dogs out and back in at 6, Bear then barked at me again and I was irritated with him thinking he just wanted to go out to play... until I looked up at the clock and realized it was 9pm already. OOPS, lost 3 hours, lol. But my little mini Valentines Day quilt looks pretty cool! I'll be finishing it later today....
And staying in worked... I've got HUGE improvements today with my cold. Sniffles are almost gone, and even though the cough is still there, it's MUCH better, so other than getting some shoveling done today to absorb a little sunshine, I'm going to stay in one more day and quilt. My creativity is FLOWING... I've got LOTS of ideas for new quilts and can't wait to get going on them...
My dreams are changing too... last night's was about exploring a cave with my best friend and we ended up touring a university afterward that I was thinking about attending... in reality, thoughts of attending a university is just a blip on my radar screen, but it's a good sign that I'm beginning to move forward emotionally.
And some bad news today... My son called this morning and told me that my brother-in-law's daughter, who is my son's age, passed away this morning. They didn't know she was diabetic and she fell into a coma yesterday and she wasn't discovered for hours. She had other major health issues all her life as well, but still... losing a child when that child is only in their 20's - SO HARD... I'm arranging for flowers on behalf of all of us here to be delivered to my mother and father-in-law tomorrow, a sympathy card and some money to my brother-in-law... GEES, what a year this is turning out to be for them... My son said that he just got in touch with the family just to be losing them and he's worried that his grandfather is next... his grandfather was in the hospital last week from having fallen twice...
After getting off the phone, I realized something about yesterday.... I was dwelling last night about why I was here (that depressed thing - and you know, thinking about God's plans, etc)... and thought yesterday that such a huge miracle happened with my X's death that I was surprised that I was still here - foolishly(?) thinking that what I was brought on earth to do was finished... but today I realized that I've got alot more work to do in helping my son through loss of those close to us....
Time for me to get started... LATER!
Crafting yesterday.. well that worked! I got playing with my sewing machine, let the dogs out and back in at 6, Bear then barked at me again and I was irritated with him thinking he just wanted to go out to play... until I looked up at the clock and realized it was 9pm already. OOPS, lost 3 hours, lol. But my little mini Valentines Day quilt looks pretty cool! I'll be finishing it later today....
And staying in worked... I've got HUGE improvements today with my cold. Sniffles are almost gone, and even though the cough is still there, it's MUCH better, so other than getting some shoveling done today to absorb a little sunshine, I'm going to stay in one more day and quilt. My creativity is FLOWING... I've got LOTS of ideas for new quilts and can't wait to get going on them...
My dreams are changing too... last night's was about exploring a cave with my best friend and we ended up touring a university afterward that I was thinking about attending... in reality, thoughts of attending a university is just a blip on my radar screen, but it's a good sign that I'm beginning to move forward emotionally.
And some bad news today... My son called this morning and told me that my brother-in-law's daughter, who is my son's age, passed away this morning. They didn't know she was diabetic and she fell into a coma yesterday and she wasn't discovered for hours. She had other major health issues all her life as well, but still... losing a child when that child is only in their 20's - SO HARD... I'm arranging for flowers on behalf of all of us here to be delivered to my mother and father-in-law tomorrow, a sympathy card and some money to my brother-in-law... GEES, what a year this is turning out to be for them... My son said that he just got in touch with the family just to be losing them and he's worried that his grandfather is next... his grandfather was in the hospital last week from having fallen twice...
After getting off the phone, I realized something about yesterday.... I was dwelling last night about why I was here (that depressed thing - and you know, thinking about God's plans, etc)... and thought yesterday that such a huge miracle happened with my X's death that I was surprised that I was still here - foolishly(?) thinking that what I was brought on earth to do was finished... but today I realized that I've got alot more work to do in helping my son through loss of those close to us....
Time for me to get started... LATER!
Replies
Wow that is awful! How sad to lose a child from something that was so preventable. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. This is such a double wammy for your ex\'s family.
You are so right about the waves of mourning. It is such a relief for me to see that the sad waves after my father\'s death are very far apart, and I find myself focusing more on the wonderful gift that it was having him as a father.
Glad you are feeling somewhat better and that your creative juices are flowing. What a pleasure that is!! Enjoy it!
Very sorry to hear about your nephew, That is so sad, so hard to take. I lost a niece in a car accident when she was 24, I know how painful it is.
TThe sadness is part of the grieving process, you gotta go through it to get to the other side, and yes the waves will become farther and farther apart.
Interesting your thoughts on your work not being done. I don\'t think our work is ever done on this earth, until we are done on this earth. Each thing that happens opens a new door, illuminates the path we are meant to take, so helping your son deal with these losses may lead to something else you are supposed to do.
I gotta say, I admire how you are working through all this. Big hugs...