The wall goes up!

I am in a very deep depression. I feel I have lost complete control of my life. There was a time when I felt I had control. I worked hard. I had $'s in the bank. I had a strong relationship with someone I loved. I was raising my daughter. I thought I had it all.My daughter graduated from MU on Saturday. She has been my strength and my reason for living. I was very proud to watch her walk across the stage with Senator Claire McCaskill sitting to watch her as well. I had worked so very hard to put a party together for her afterwards. The party was smaller than expected. My family did not show or call her and still haven't. My sister chose to have a date with a man! Told me she could not afford to be there.  My mother chose this particular weekend to go to NC to visit my brother.This hurts!My daughter is only 20. She is now engaged to a boy that she has been with for several years. She came over on Monday to do laundry and begin making wedding plans. They are looking at May 09. I am happy for her and also sad. Again, she is my reason for living. I feel I am losing her. This wonderful person I have known for 20 years doesn't need me any longer. She has become a grown responsible woman trying to get into grad school.My husband is looking for a new job. He does have marketable skills and a college education. He has an interview today near Saint Louis. The position will be in Columbia. We will keep our fingers crossed and say our prayers. My friend that I thought has committed suicide did not. She does threaten every day. I never know if the last time each day that  I talk with her will be the very last time. This is so emotionally draining. I try every day to give her hope as I see it. She chooses the wrong path every single day. It is so painful to watch.I still have trust issues with my husband. I married him almost a year ago. The day I married him I thought no one would ever interfere with us. I felt we had a love that no one or nothing would ever harm. Didn't happen. This hurts!I come to a job everyday that I do not like. People do not speak to me. Everyday an overweight man sits across from me and coughs without covering his mouth. He eats constantly and burps.I do not like him. I cannot say anything to anyone. I should not have to tolerate this. I have to. I lost my job last year after 13 years.I am resentful to many people these days. I will no longer allow myself to get close to anyone. I am so tired of being hurt by people. The loss of my job in July 07 was devastating. The affairs of my husband have been devastating. The lack of money is devastating. My family and friends lack of love and support have been devastating. I haven't spoken to my dad or brothers in years. My sister is a selfish human being. My mother blackmails me emotionally.And the wall is built!