The Voices have arrived

I have voices in my head. They have problems that only get worse before they get better. I never let them off without losing their best friend but they gain the love of their life in the process. I'm a writer. I think that part of what makes me weird. Good Weird. Unique Weird. Its part of my idenity. Something that I am trying to find. I know this, that even though today is a good day and even though eventually I will be down again. I'm unique and worth everyones time and love. I'm blessed to have the god that I have holding my hand and watching over me. I'm blessed that I have a family to love and support me while I am still finding myself. I'm blessed with a child who loves me unconditionally. I'm even blessed to have voices in my head. If I actually tried to write a novel, short stories, or movie script with some effort and probably some more education. I would be good at it. I'm all over the place today. I'm sorry whoever danes to read this. I want to run a thousand miles. I want to be successful. I want love. I don't want to be talking in circles. lol. Today the will was their to leave my house and run errands but my body wouldn't function. I got overwhelmed just writing a grocery list and eventually took an anti anxiety and a nap. I woke up it was time to start my wind down process. This still does not kill my day. Yes i had to take an anti anxiety that i have been trying to wein myself off of and I didn't get toothpaste for the 3rd day in a row but thats okay. I'll try again tommorow. Tommorow. Even writing this i see how much of an up and down hormonal chemically imbalanced train wreck I am. I'm my train wreck tho. See positivity. Nut Job floates into my mind. I fight it off. This is the me I hide from my friends and family. You guys are the only ones who knows my true ups and downs as well as my inner thoughts. You and god of course. Does anybody have tips for showing this side to my therapist. I have an inept procedure of showing people I'm normal. I need her to see. I need her to know this side of me. Maybe I'll get some help. I mean I tell her that I am this way but I need her to see it. Okay guys I've gone through about 6 emotions since starting this. I'm exhausted. Love you. Hope you feel okay. Hope I didn't bore you. I just needed a release.