the Unknown

Well hello again everyone. Well, everyone who reads these and has the patience to do so. There are many things I would like to address, so I think I will just go ahead and begin now. For those of you who have been following these I finally FINALLY got my period. Though, theres a sadness attached to it. Ive bled so much in the past 3 days that I am constantly weak, constantly in pain, and no amount of painkillers have helped. I dont move much, and heating pads haven't done a darn thing to help me. -sigh- Thus is life I guess. I prayed for it to finally come, and when it did, so did the pain.. Be careful what you wish for my friends, be very careful and specific. As far as college goes, Im not enrolled yet, but I plan on changing that and SOON. I go in to take a College Placement Test, and thus begins my new path toward a life. Now, here's the hitch. My father has agreed to help me get through college (financially) but I already feel like a leech. Now for the other catch in my plan to go to college. job. I STILL don't have one, though I have applied everywhere I could think of around here. With absolutely no leads. Course, there are 2 places I plan on bugging them to utter death until they either give me an interview, or tell me to never call again. Bed, Bath and Beyond & Books A Million.    Wish me luck there guys, please. I will need all of the luck I can get. On the homefront things are getting better though, and I am very happy for that. I have lacked in my housework, due to cramps having me doubled over half the day, and sweating profusely the other half. I feel sorry for tyrone because for the past few days when he comes over he sees me in pain, unwilling or unable to move, and feels helpless. Though I dont think he realizes how much the little things mean so much when a woman hurts. Just the slightest things like when I shiver, throwing a blanket over me, or helping me cook dinner. Things like that help. The intensity of pain scares me though guys. Badly.  Because Ive taken maximum allowable doses of painkillers lately, and they dont seem to phase me. You see, my doctor established early in my childhood, and again in my teens that I have a very high pain tolerance. So for me to feel pain this badly would scare him. Lets see ....*is thinking* ahh! He said and I quote "Anything short of labor pains you wouldn't even feel my girl, so if you ever actually FEEL pain, anyone else would pass out from it" haha. Hurrah for me. Anyway, thats enough moaning about pain. Oh, Ive started reading again. Not nearly as much as before, but more than nothing. It seems to calm and relax me, which I desperately seem to need.   And for my last set of update information: My goal. I havent been to the gym in a few days so I probably wont make the progress that I need to. Though every little bit helps, and I haven't given up. I have kept up with cutting sodas out, and drinking ALOT of water. Ive been eating smaller portions, and have been getting 8 hours sleep no matter when I actually fall asleep. So in closing I will update my goal progress, but I will need some encouragement guys. Im slipping. And if you've read all of this. Thank you.