The trigger......

... So now I know what the trigger is to the anxiety - the car. That's where I went to have my HA and, as Sue said, it's now the "scene of the crime". Right. Today I went to see my Mental Health Nurse to get a grip on this. She made it quite clear. You went to the car because that's where, subconsciously, you felt safe. Ultimately, you went there to die as you knew, deep down, you were mortally wounded. Scary!!! But the death didn't happen so now it's taken on another guise - its the place where bad things happen.
No, it's my car and I love it. It's got a convertible hood and a racy engine and I spend every penny on it. It's mine and I have always been identified by my cars. His name is Mr Blue. His seats heat up in the cold and it's like sitting in a cock-pit. There are lots of lights and buttons and I'm NOT GIVING IT UP! I love driving. I adore the smell of the leather. 
I put him into the garage today to be checked out. Every nut, bolt, pulley, ball joint and axle. Every fluid will be changed, brakes re-newed, you name it, he's having it done. He's my friend and we go everywhere together. He is SAFE. He will keep me SAFE. I am SAFE. 
So panic attacks and anxiety -bite me! You know you can't......... Fight them or feed them. Well, my friends, they can bloody well starve.
Be well, all
Alli
Xx