The Talk-sorry so long

I stopped by the local watering hole to see RV Joe last night and he had put a last minute get together for his friends to meet me.  I had no want to drink.  It was so smoky in there i couldnt stay long..im allergic to smoke.  It was very last minute and i got to meet a couple of his friends.  

He is big on surprises.  Ive never had that before.  It was nice just sitting there and listening to music and spending time with Joe.  I didnt even worry about getting home right away to questions Roomie would ask and when I did get home, there were no questions asked.  I interupted his nightly German documentary show and told him I needed to talk and to shut the volume off.  I explained Id be moving out today.  He quickly asked me if there was someone else in which I replied "No" .  I dont feel like I need to discuss my future with him.  I thanked him for the the time we had together and reminded him that I never tried to change him like hed asked me not to in the beginning.  The only things I asked were if hed work on quit smoking and if hed have a sleep apnea test.  His snoring was so bad it drove me to start sleeping in the other bedroom.  But never once did I nag.  It was all more out of concern for his health and our intimate relationship that was being affected.  Ive gotten angry about it..not feeling I was worth the effort on his part because he never did anything to fix these things.  I was starting to see the overall picture. Hes an old 57 set in his ways and Im still an adventurous ever changing 47 yo.

Id never be satisfied.  I have a feeling the discussions arent over yet and...if he starts on me I will sit down and lay everything out for him again.  We arent compatiable.  We dont motivate each other.  We havent grown.  

Another thing i layed awake thinking about last night, I told Joe I needed to talk to him.  I feel things are moving way to fast and financially in the wrong direction.  Id like to slow things down and focus on getting ourselves established before we go off in 2 months to get married.. Id just like to enjoy each other for awhile and not stress.  If he persists, I will ask him why so fast?  Does he feel like hes going to lose me? Is there something he needs to get married so quickly for?  I just feel in my gut i need to ask him and whether he tells me truth or not ill never know.  

On a positive note, I feel the muck has loosened up enough and I can begin to trudge forward again.  I am going to come by the house on Mondays and Thursdays to see Sammycat and make sure Roomie is ok out of friendship.  I feel relationships can end on good terms if both people want it.  Too soon to tell what the anger stage will be for Roomie.  If he gets angry Ill just tell him the Id wished hed been angry enough to change things over the course of the year...but...I hope it doesnt come to that.

To all enjoy your weekend..