the trip

Sometimes I simply cannot understand how some people can be so mean & nasty to others and yet say "I love you" to them.  Back in June our beautiful daughter left her husband of 28 years.  For all of that time he has been abusive.  He has pushed and shoved her into walls and other objects, yet he says "I have never hit you."  He has called her all kinds of names and both she & the children have always been called "STUPID" and other such things.  There has also been cheating at least 3 times that for which she has awareness and yet another time is going on since the month prior to her leaving.  Can you believe he even wanted her to prove that their last child, now 19, was his and requested DNA testing on him.  He continues to use the children by lying about her and his own actions.  He has even introduced his new girl friend to the 3 adult kids.  This so blows me away that I can't even fathom it!When she left he insisted on keeping the cats and allowing her to take the dogs (one her's and the other their daughter's).  Now that he is, for the most part, living with this other woman, the cats have been left at home, unattended.  He assigned the duty of caring for the cats to their 19 year old son who was attending college nearby.  He had to drive a little over an hour to go home once a week to tend the cats.  Now he has moved south to live with a sister.  He had promised to bring the cats here to his mother.  But after loading both his car & his girlfriend's car and putting her cat and his dog into them he found he didn't have enough room for the other two.  This now meant that the two pets were essentially being abandoned!  Thus began a week of planning for us to drive for 2 days to rescue 2 cats at the cost of just over $200.In the meantime, Mr. Wonderful kept calling and calling and texting.  He insisted that he would lock the house if he didn't know when we (she) would arrive.  Then he accused her of intending to steal from him.  All the while he is telling her that he wants her back and loves her.  He also keeps telling her that this current girlfriend is just a fling and he would drop her in a minute for a reconciliation.Mr Innocence also is telling her that she has imagined all that abuse.  There is NO WAY that he could ever do any of those things to her.  He loves her too much for that.WHAT NERVE!!!!!  And to think we treated him like a son and tried so hard to be available when it was necessary.  Now he blames us and has convinced our grandchildren that we are responsible for their mother leaving him.  He claims that we made her do it and are brain washing her - she is completely under our control.  After years of being counselors it would be impossible for us to do that to a client, much less our daughter.  Counselors do not tell people what to do, they simply allow them to talk and work our their own solutions.  I just can't believe all that is happening and being said.Bottom line:  We spent 14 hours on the road, slept in a borrowed bed and had a beautiful time with our other daughter & her children.  Then we retrieved the cats and spent another 14 hours on the road coming back home.  We are totally exhausted and stressed.  My poor daughter has spent the day venting in her journal and being depressed.  Next week she will be saying her good byes to her oldest as he heads for deployment.  Then she heads to her daughter's to visit with the other two children.  Her words concerning this are "that is if they want me there."  That is just sooooooo sad that a mother has to even consider that her children would want a visit from her.  This man has become the personification of evil.  We pray for her and our protection daily.  Yet, it is like reading a book and totally unbelievable!