The Symbolism is Too Rich

Okay, I'm almost done with cleaning out the basement.  God, what a frickin' metaphor: Cleaning out the mess at the bottom of my life.  It has been so sobering running into things I've hung onto for so long, projects I never completed, memorabilia from events that remind me what a dork I've been throughout my life, things I've clung onto because of a sense of "scarcity rather than abundance" as they say, etc etc.  PLUS running into all these spiders, which I'm terrified of...actually not terrified, just scared.  I USED to be terrified, so that's progress? So maybe I need to recognize how far I've come?  Speaking of which, every day I set aside for going downstairs, I think I just don't have the energy or courage, but then when I get going, I find myself going and going until I'm getting close to exhausted.  So maybe that's something else to recognize with my depression - that just getting moving can give me energy.  Momentum out of inertia.  I like what moonstruckme said: People like us deserve a medal for just getting out of bed some days. :-)  It's so unfair to judge ourselves to a standard of people w/o anxiety and depression.  My neighbors have given me sh!t for all the crap in the basement.  Well, had they had my history, maybe they would have ended up with some odd tendencies like this as well, or the lack of energy to deal with every little thing in their lives.  I just can't take their comments personally...which seems almost impossible to do, but I'm trying, I'm trying.  Man, I wish I didn't care what others think so much.  UGH, that's been an ongoing struggle my whole life, and of course related to the peer abuse from my adolescence.  Okay ENOUGH, I'm going to head down and box some more stuff and do more sweeping before my root canal.