The Story

Here is my story. After 3 plus years of marriage and a 2 year old daughter I started to feel my marriage slip away from me. I wasn't sure what was happening but I knew I needed to try to improve it. I made a commitment and intended on keeping it, that commitment was to honor, love and respect my wife until we died. So I worked harder than ever at my marriage but to my surprise my wife pulled further away. That's when the feelings of uneasiness started (August 2013). After being open and honest to her that I thought she was cheating on me, things got worse. She told me it was ridiculous to question her and that the only reason there was distance between us was because I was not the same man I was before and she wasn't feeling the same about me anymore. So I tried marriage counseling. After the first session I knew her heart wasn't in it, this made me the most sad I have ever been in my life. Still I had a strange feeling and decided to check our cell records for anything unusual. I found a few texts to a strange number but nothing too crazy. When I went to secretly check her phone I noticed she had put a new passcode on it. (Sept. 14, 2013). The next day I checked the records again and found 27 messages to that same number in one day. Instead of searching more I was once again honest and said I wanted to see the messages. Well they were already deleted. I asked why she changed the passcode and she said it was just random luck. Of course she did admit the number was a co-workers number eventually but swore they weren't inappropriate. I didn't believe her and told her to stop talking to him immediately. Two weeks go by and I still had a strange feeling. Things were getting worse between the two of us and I kept telling her it was as if she was checked out of our marriage already. She basically became a roommate to me and took advantage of me as a provider financially. I couldn't escape the feeling she was still talking to this guy so I saw her on ebay one night and when she left the room I checked to see what she was looking at. It was something very obviously intended to be a gift for this guy (it was a model car, and I knew he was into cars plus I am not). So I questioned her immediately and of course she denied at first it was for him but eventually told the truth, saying well everyone buys christmas presents in our office so I was gonna get other people gifts too. Another month goes by and things are hitting the fan. I couldn't take it anymore, I was miserable in the house. She made me out to be the worst husband in the world and I felt so alone. I told her I was sorry I didn't trust her but I couldn't escape the feeling that she was cheating on me. She told me I needed to get over it because she definitely wasn't. Our 4 year anniversary rolls around (11.14.13) she didn't even get me a card. And even worse, when I sent flowers to her office she yelled at me saying it is ridiculous for me to pretend and try and show others we have a happy marriage when we don't. She brought the flowers home and threw them out and never opened the diamond necklace I bought her. This made me go into private investigator mode. I was able to hack her FB account and saw that her Dad and her were trying to find a way for her to move out, take my daughter and half my money. He called me a loser and unworthy for his daughter and that he never liked me. I confronted my wife about this and she went crazy. I shouldn't bad mouth her dad, I shouldn't care that he says those things about me, blah blah blah. That night i had had it. I told her (while packing her clothes up) that she had to either fully commit to our marriage or leave. It was my birthday the next day (11.17.13) and my family was in town to celebrate for the weekend, so she asked if she could let me know her answer on Monday and that we just get through the weekend with my family. Well we did and come Monday no answer, Tuesday no answer, Wednesday I told her I needed to know and she said she would tell me but never did. She kept delaying it. That Friday 11/24/13 DDAY happened. I happen to get access to her Facebook while I was at work and she was messaging her co-worker "I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH" with little heart faces and stuff. Telling him I was a jerk for making her commit to our marriage and so forth. I lost it and drove home and starting packing all her stuff. I text her and told her she could pick it up but I didn't want to see her. She showed up with a police escort and asked me to talk. She said nothing physical happened, she knew she messed up, things will be better, she was sorry. I made her stay at her Dad's (without our daughter because I didn't want my child near someone who would say those things about me) for a few days. After awhile we cooled down and talked. I gave her the opportunity to tell me everything, she said she did. I agreed to try and work it out as long as there was no future contact, she agreed. Little did I know she lied twice in that conversation, a conversation I look at as one of the most important in our lives together. Christmas was coming and I still felt as if my wife hadn't told me the truth. I questioned her a lot about it actually. Finally one night she said, all teary eyed "we kissed twice". Whole new ballgame now! I didn't know what to believe anymore. I was in a tail spin. Weeks later while sitting next to me I asked her to see her Facebook account and noticed she had been commenting on pictures from his race car team (he is a total redneck and I honestly don't understand the whole attraction and never will). So basically she works with the guy, is still friendly with him but I am supposed to believe they have no interaction outside of work related stuff and that they only kissed twice. No sorry can't do it right now. I don't believe that was all that happened and until she gets a new job I don't trust her one bit at work.