The road is never flat

On Sunday, I really wanted to be very happy, inwardly and outwardly. And so at the meeting I was smiling and looking at as much people as I could. I looked at John a few times too, and at one time he looked back! (if only for a second!) I really want to smile at him though!, but I know my body may not be ready, for such big step. But I am building up to it! And it is my goal to actually speak to him by the end of the year. No matter how impossible it may seem, I must look on the positive instead of the negative.Well John aside! I did have quite a good time with his twin sisters Mary and Elizabeth! (I really do like talking to people besides my  family!) They are Joanna's age (14) but there'll be 15 in a few more days. And you know age doesn't matter! And since we're all teenages, we still have a lot of things in common!Whilst I enjoyed my time with the twins, my sister Joanna had a horrible time in the meeting, (she felt to shy to hang out with the twins.) and she said she would never go to a meeting again. But I'm not so sure. I felt bad all the same, and I should of encouraged her to come with us, but I guess I'm sort of jealous! And don't wish to share the twins with her! And I did't really want her to look after the other children, because I was jealous of her doing something that I wouldn't do. I really need to stop being jealous! I don't even know how I got this way, I know I felt a bit jealous of her last year. But this year its like full on jealousy. So yeah, I think I need to make another goal.Well moving on! Monday was very tiresome! (my work and all, more frustrating that I had to do it while watching DVD's, all I wanted to do was watch the movie. but I had to do my work you know!) and well thats all we did watch DVD's, and yeah I painted. Very uneventful. And today will mostly be the same! Except that I have to deliver papers, and I won't be watching DVDs today!