The prodigal brother
I spent most of the day puttering around the house, unpacking boxes, washing things and putting them away, doing laundry, and looking out the window every time a car went by or a car door slammed or a shadow passed the window, thinking that my brother was here again.
I got a lot of things done, including washing all the blankets I brought with me from Maine and the dishes I'd packed, and was exhausted (both mentally and physically) by the time that the girl got home from school.
Around 9:30 I was relaxing in the living room, watching tv and playing a game on the computer (with the lights off, because I had been taking a nap), when the doorbell rang and the back door opened. It was him. He just let himself in.
I called my other brother after he left, and he advised me to not either get the key back or change the locks. Letting himself in like that shows not only a lack of respect, but of common courtesy and civility, and my other brother agrees that I cannot trust him.
We are going over to see my mother today, and we will bring it up with her. As that brother is now going to be staying close to us, because he did find a friend to put him up for a while nearby, I can expect a repeat of the incident and it is not acceptable.
It is my opinion that a civilized person would have not only called first, but would have waited a decent amount of time between ringing the doorbell and unlocking the door and letting himself in, probably not doing the latter if there was no answer to the doorbell in the first place. But then, that brother does not have any respect for me, as demonstrated by the last seven years.
I got a lot of things done, including washing all the blankets I brought with me from Maine and the dishes I'd packed, and was exhausted (both mentally and physically) by the time that the girl got home from school.
Around 9:30 I was relaxing in the living room, watching tv and playing a game on the computer (with the lights off, because I had been taking a nap), when the doorbell rang and the back door opened. It was him. He just let himself in.
I called my other brother after he left, and he advised me to not either get the key back or change the locks. Letting himself in like that shows not only a lack of respect, but of common courtesy and civility, and my other brother agrees that I cannot trust him.
We are going over to see my mother today, and we will bring it up with her. As that brother is now going to be staying close to us, because he did find a friend to put him up for a while nearby, I can expect a repeat of the incident and it is not acceptable.
It is my opinion that a civilized person would have not only called first, but would have waited a decent amount of time between ringing the doorbell and unlocking the door and letting himself in, probably not doing the latter if there was no answer to the doorbell in the first place. But then, that brother does not have any respect for me, as demonstrated by the last seven years.
Replies
Put a chain lock on door, So even if unlocked the door will not spring open with out warning. It is for privacy, imagine if you were just in a shower? or in a state of dress not suitable for company or family. Or if he brought, said friend with him? This is a sort of boundary setting, but not changing locks, a reminder that the knock, needs to be answered first.
I know, right? I spoke to my other brother and my mother about this, and they both are outraged that he did this, and agree that it is not just me, but that I cannot trust him. Not only am I going to get the key back from him, but I am also going to change the locks. I have learned that you cannot set boundries with this guy, because he doesn\'t understand them. He was brought up in the same household that my other brother and I were brought up in and we understand that you don\'t just let yourself in just because you have a key to someone else\'s house - unless you think that you are saving the person\'s life.
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Until I can get the lock on the door changed, I am keeping the screen door locked to prevent a reoccurance.