The Perfect Surprise
Some of you already know this, but I had a birthday this month. The day before, I had felt a little sick, so I decided I would take a pregnancy test the next day. I was thinking of what a great present a positive pregnancy test would be...but I didn't really think I was going to get one! This week, I went to the doctor. I got to see the sweet little thing on ultrasound. The tiny heart was blinking, & all I could do was smile. We always wanted a handful of children. After five years of waiting for my first child & another 2.5 for my second (& the decision that we were finished with IF treatments after that), I doubted the possibility of it. If we were able to conceive on our own, we would be thankful. If not, we would treasure our two precious little girls. I had hoped I could conceive before too long because I knew that the endometriosis would come back. Pregnancy & breastfeeding helped to "pause" it's growth, but there is no cure for it, really. The laparoscopy was the best thing that I ever did...I feel like I HAVE been cured! Am I fertile now, after all these years? The reaction I have received from family & friends has been interesting. Everyone who knows me is happy for me. They know how much I love my children. These are some of the things I have heard: "I'm glad it's you & not me.""Wow, you are going to have your hands full.""How old is your baby?""Condolances." (My favorite: My FIL) "So, you guys finally figured out what you are doing?" Sadly, it seems to me that we live in a world that does not cherish children. I have family members who think the world is overpopulated. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but even in the Infertility Support Group, there are MANY that have the mentality that parents SHOULD only have one or two children. I think it is fine if that is all someone wants, but it is hard to feel that some women look at me as if I am being "greedy" by having more than two children. I hope this makes sense. My children are the best thing in my life (along with God, & my husband). I have loved every moment I have had with them. I feel blessed that I will have the chance to experience all of this again. This baby is the best birthday gift EVER. He/She is the gift that came freely, the gift I didn't have to BEG for. I am so HAPPY! I try not to worry of loss, but I have seen many losses here at DS. If anyone has the time to offer a prayer for us, I would appreciate it very much. I pray daily for my friends here who are still waiting for their miracles. I believe in miracles, for me & for you!
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