The past and the if's haunt me

Before my H joined the Army we have just moved into my home town - I got a good job but he was having a hard time getting a decent job.  We were talking yesterday and he said "Things would have been completely different if I would have gotten a job" - then the past, the regrets, the if's just assaulted my mind.  I do think about the past, what if he has never joined the army, what if he has never deployed - haven't thought about it in a while cause I can't change the past but his words just strung a chord inside me and I was so sad thinking on the what if's - I know their is no future but couldnt help to think and cried for what I lost.  Moving forward but my heart is still bleeding.