The Pain of unable to work

Today I am feeling a little sick : slightly running nose and dizziness ( I am unable to sleep last night )
 
The guilt inside me is eating me alive. 
No one can actually SEE the pain of depression and I am like a living failure.
 
I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone, i just want to cry and cry and start cutting. 
 
I cannot work because I cannot focus on a single task. 
 
In fact , I push people away while I need people's support. 
Whats wrong with me ? 
 
Mona.