The past
After a long talk with my separated wife yesterday, We touched on several issues. She is having really really hard time cause I left her with nothing. I understand what the problem I have always been around the wrong type of influence including family members my dad for instance and my uncle who both lied to cover up their mistakes and I have always been around them. I come to realize that may be a possible reason, I could have picked up my bad habits from them and my friends from childhood all lied. I feel like I can try to take charge of my life and I have to focus on the future and what it holds for me. Though separated she is still being optimistic for me change we may never be together again but she is seeing this through with me and encouraging me to get better. I have to prioritize my life and do something important to overcome my low self esteem.
Replies
I feel for you, I really do, because in many aspects you and I are in the same boat. I know what it is to see the people around you when your a child lie and get away with it. You see them lie, time and time again with very little accountability. As a child you see this, you see how it\'s working for the people who are lying, and possibly think....\"I can do that to\"! So you start learning the craft of lying, sometimes it worked out for you, sometimes it didn\'t. But in regards to have possibly picked up some body else\'s bad habit and you ran with it, isn\'t the end of the story. For me, I learned lying very young in life, some where around the ages of 5 and 6 years old, yeah I saw that it was working pretty good for others, they lie to get themselves out of trouble, they lie to get what they wanted, whatever the reason, they just lied. I picked up the habit and ran with it, but that can\'t be the end of the story as to the damaged life I\'m living now. I\'m learning the \"hard way\" that yes I saw lying all around me as a small child, yeah, I picked up the habit and ran with it, but somewhere down that road, I made the choice to keep the habit going! Eventually I became grown up enough to know the difference between \"right & wrong\", so at some point the excuse of seeing people in my life doing it and getting away with it didn\'t apply. At that moment the habit and addiction to lie became my very own, no longer dependent what I might have saw as a child.
This just might be \"my take\" on things but I\'d at least feel good on the premise that your Wife is \"optimistic\" that you will change, plus encouraging you to \"get better\", sound to me that she still cares!
And the \"low self esteem\" issue, I really cant help you there, because I\'m in the same boat, I to have low self esteem problems and I\'m learning that this issue ties in directly as to why I feel like I got to lie sometimes.