The other woman

Tragic to me. And because he once described sex with her as tragic the last time he had it. But ofcourse probably all lies. She e mails me. She doesnt know everything but she has tried to end it with him several times because he was not seeing much of her or treating her very well. She knew i was trying to keep away from him and she emailed me last night to tell me how happy they both were with me out the picture. She said things were really changing and the relationship is now more relaxed and normal. Hes not so guarded with his phone as he was. And so on. It rubbed salt in my wounds but i know i need to heal and to live honestly and not be part of his cheating. She replaced me. It still hurts. Fuck it... i still want him. Despite everything. where is my self respect? Have i learned anything? Im lonely and feel old fat and ugly. She is 16 years younger than me and much more attractive. That doesnt help my already shattered self esteem.