the other shoe to drop

I had a great day. Slept late and then met new friend from my mens grp to run. We had a really good run and talk. His pace is probably a little quicker but being a little competitive, I could not let him know it hurt a bit.lol Well he is 15 yrs younger. I went to church and hung out with friends after. Was nice and fun.It is new to be able to have fun again.These friends do not know this side of me and hope they still like me. All is great , I just do not trust that I am out of the depression. I want it to be over but after so long it is very hard to trust it. I went 15 years without it, but the past 3 yrs. took all of my confidence away. I am getting it back I just am having difficulty trusting it.I just want someone to say everything will be ok. When it comes down to it, that is all I have ever wanted to hear. I did not hear that growing up and I do not have people close enough to tell me that. Last march was the closest to offing myself that I ever had and I cut everyone out of my life. I have built new friends and supports and it is feeling good. I just wish that I trusted myself to hold it together. Dont get me wrong, I am loving it, I just can stand the thought of going back. I cant do it again.I know it sounds like I have talked myself out of my good mood, I havent, I just want reassurance.