The nights do suck.

n hate the night I try do read or watch a movie everything just reminds me that i'm alone. I clean my place and do laundry I try to stay busy to fill time but eventually everything is done and I am forced to just sit in the quite. I hate that my friends are all out with husbands or boyfriends. My older kids have their lives to live everyone just seems to be going on and i'm stuck here in no whereville. Still don't know where to start to move on from here. Everyone keeps telling me to stop being sad I just don't know how to do that.
Everything seems so final like this is going to be my life no better no worse just here. I don't sleep, eat or even dream anymore I just try to get through the day. I'm so tired of just trying to survive it makes me sick.