The New Normal II
Despite the nitpicking I received for using this out-dated phrase like it was new-to-me. Do I need to put *TW* on the tag line? PTSD Barbies are ever so sensitive about such faux pas. PTSD Brain is ever so fragile a condition that the entire world must respect. Checking today's twitter vocabulary updates now. . . Trawling the troll patrols. . .
But here in the private chaos of this 5 part grief choir, not including the Lawsuit Lotto section of the choir, the phrase is apropos to our strictly personal needs. The Lawsuit Lotto section of the choir is part of the old normal. Plying last millenium's detachment tools to accept what that which I cannot change to channel all available resources in the search for the courage to change what I can, even if the future holds yet another legal lightening bolt for yet another splintering of the family tree. The future isnae here yet.
As of bedtime last night, Hubs and I were feeling reasonably confident in the new normals that are emerging in our start of school days. It has only been 3 weeks since the funeral. Orphanhood is one hell of a ticket item to fit into a new normal. We have taken care to keep the Lawsuit Lotto discussions away from their ears, but I believe they feel the trembling of the legal chainsaw on the other branch of their family tree, all the same. It is an ugly choice of incomprehensible justifications to force on young children. The fragile routine we had before the tragedy still feels inacessible, but the new normal served us well for a conflict free weekend. Prayers in progress as a new Monday tests the progress.
There remains a part of me that wants to give all this responsibility to the other grandparents. You want ^it^, you've got ^it^. Careful what you wish for, August lawyer lovers. You might get ^it^.
Wiping away crocodile tears now and preparing for a First Grade Monday. . .
Replies
Prayers going your way for First Grade Monday, arfie.
It has been quite allot of years since the days of the week have been much more than scheduling convenience for me. The grinds of Monday morning do start percolating way too soon, even in First Grade. Pass the Nesquick.
Prayers both needed and appreciated.
The search for a support group, either live or on-line, has revealed a tremendous need. I am far from the only senior citizen tackling a second parenting career, but the organization is ? ? ? About where PTSD organization was in 1972 when I began the long climb out of child prostitution? The need for the theories is barely recognized, much less labeled and organized. I've been finding grandparent forums, but the dynamics of grandparenting, functional or knot, are far different than the dynamics of parenting, even when you are parenting grandchildren. Am I even still a grandmother? I sure cherished the idea, but I ain't in Kansas no more. I don't get to give them back after our Disney World adventure is over.
I've been peeking into parenting forums, but? ? ? The fears of those unrealistic expectations are daunting. I ain't your Mama, Cutie Pie, no matter how much I remind you of her.
Sorting. . .
Triple hugs arfie. Cant imagine having every future plan you had swiped away like an erasure on a blackboard, and facing the clean slate of what is ahead. One breath at a time , i would guess. Triple prayers to go with those hugs friend.
Hugs Arfie.
Embrace this new normal my friend. I honestly think if any one is capable of me revising my own opinions about that phrase and seeing it for the positive it should be, you are at the top of my list, Arfie.
“Because we are different” is the motto in my family on my mother’s side that has become hereditarily ingrained. Normal for me, I guess, is always new because we always embraced being not normal.
Best of luck, hugs & love, Arfie.
Yea, "Because We Are Different" might have been the banner over one or twenty of the kiddie whorehouses I was sold in. Learning that there is no Universal Normal was much harder for me than learning what's *REALLLY* in Santa's lap. All I ever wanted to be was, "Normal." Kinda like the hippie commune kid who grows up to be an FBI agent.
Viva la diversidad. . .
Now I gotta rewatch "Flashback."