the new girlfriend

So I've now found out he has a girlfriend.  I've been told that she has recently put on weight making the neighbors also suspect she is pregnant.  I've a whole bunch of emotions surrounding this news.  First is:  Man he sure did replace me fast and we're still married.  Second:  He will probably be molesting her children too.  Third:  Why has he been able to move on in life and I'm still struggling not to kill myself or cut my self up in to bloody pieces?  I knew life was not fair, but this is rediculous.   Why am I living with my children the way we do, he has our beautiful house with our beautiful things that I bought and worked for, he has a life, a girlfriend, he's happy and moved  on and I'm in a swirling vat a shit where every waking moment are thoughts full of him and what he did.?  I can't seem to get past this.  I can't seem to get over what he's done and I'm living this pretend life for my kids while inside I'm dead and suffering like never before.  In my sleep I'm grinding my teeth so that now I have to go to a dentist and fix a bunch of cracked teeth and I'm taking handfuls of pain relievers like they are candy because the pain in my jaw, mouth and teeth are killing me.  I want to drive away somewhere and just die.  I want this pain to end.  I want this to be over and I never again want to think of any of it but I can't.  I'm still here.  I'm still suffering.  I lie daily about being okay and I'm not.  I think my days of fighting the self injury are over.