The Never Ending Run-Around

Hello all ,yes once again its been awhile since my last entry,for some reason ,something is pulling me back to DS as i have been on for a few days now,posting various replies,I feel like I  am stuck and yes i probably have said this before,and probably will again,just bare with me is all i can ask of anyone who may be reading this......It started (well lets be honest never really stopped) but has become more intense i should say ,since my one and only niece(my goddaughter) started making the plans for her wedding this may 14th,I am in a quandry sorta speak,because i dont feel comfortable about this upcoming marriage,and i wonder is it because of my own marriage that seems to be crumbling more each day,that i dont want her to experience the same pitfalls should they arise??,my sister refuses yes REFUSES to hear anything bad or negative concerning the wedding,so once again i keep my mouth shut,my sister has gone into complete overdrive when it comes to this wedding of her daughter,because my sister has always loved to be the center of attention especially when a party is involved,my mom and i both think that she will collapse come may 15th(my sister- not my niece)No matter what i do or say it always falls back to the wedding,hence i havent talked much to my sister this last month or so,because she really is starting to piss me off,its a wedding i keep telling her its 1 day,now if you focus more on the actual marriage of the 2 of them it may be better...I dont know maybe they will be happily married for the next 50 yrs or so,and maybe its just my cynicism towards marriage in general,but the feeling in my stomach is telling me different,the last thing i want is to see my goddaughter hurt in anyway what so ever...I am usually happy and excited about weddings ,so why cant i be happy and excited for my niece,is it becuz my own marriage is failing? Is it becuz my sister is making such a huge production out of the wedding,it makes me ill???AM I becoming to cynical to enjoy my nieces happiness???all these ???s and more go racing thru my head everyday,not to mention the fact i ask myself what kind of attitude will my husband and boss at work have today?? Pretty much I am getting tired of adjusting to how everyone thinks i should be..........there will come a day tho i fear closer than even i know,that i just speak my mind to everyone how i feel about them and let the chips lay where they fall,I am pretty much tired of haveing everyone elses back with nobody having mine........