"The Mountains Win Again"
Thank you John Popper and Blues Traveler for that apropos song today... Bit gloomy today...
I keep thinking about what OM is thinking. Well, not all the time. I've tried to designate times for thinking and worrying and try to stay busy the rest of the time. It's killing me, though, not knowing what this absolute silence means. I would not re-engage in emailing him if I were to get some reply. It would just serve to soothe my guilt over letting him go and working on my marriage and family-- for good.
During bad moments, I think he thinks I'm incapable of making a decision, selfish, mean spirited, a mad hatter, etc. During better moments, I see his silence as a gift that makes it easier for me to keep NC. Lately there have been more bad moments than good...
It's such a waste of time and energy to wonder what he's thinking. There's no future for us. Why do I care? I need to let him go...
One foot in front of the other...
I keep thinking about what OM is thinking. Well, not all the time. I've tried to designate times for thinking and worrying and try to stay busy the rest of the time. It's killing me, though, not knowing what this absolute silence means. I would not re-engage in emailing him if I were to get some reply. It would just serve to soothe my guilt over letting him go and working on my marriage and family-- for good.
During bad moments, I think he thinks I'm incapable of making a decision, selfish, mean spirited, a mad hatter, etc. During better moments, I see his silence as a gift that makes it easier for me to keep NC. Lately there have been more bad moments than good...
It's such a waste of time and energy to wonder what he's thinking. There's no future for us. Why do I care? I need to let him go...
One foot in front of the other...
Replies
one minute at a time. one breath at at time. You are strong and smart. You will make it.
It\'s all part of the process- one step at a time. You are on the right path- it just hurts a little/sometimes a lot- but there is light at the end.
Thank you, Sam and Blue!