The more things change the more they stay the same
My daughter has held onto her job going on four months. She's become very good friends with a guy who is 16 years her senior, divorced and living with his mother (no kids). They run around together doing crazy and childish things. Now they're planning to get an apartment together. She claims he's attracted to her but she doesn't feel that way toward him. In other words, they're going to have issues living together.
She continues to burn money on stupid, frivolous things, continues to go out and get drunk at clubs, continues to gloat about her wild exploits on facebook. She's finally respecting most of the boundaries I've set for her. No more library books delivered to my house in her name, no more expectation of rides to or from work. She sees her daughter once a week, supervised at my home.
Some visits go well, others I'm fuming mad because of her thoughtless comments and behaviors. One thing she's fixated on is my granddaughter's navel. It's somewhat of an "outie" and my daughter checks it and comments, "Hopefully it'll go in over time," etc. One minute she says my grand has an eating disorder because she eats sporadically. The next minute she says my grand is going to get fat because she loves candy. All these comments are confusing and negative and I don't want my grand to start obsessing over such ridiculous things. She's only 3 1/2 after all, and those kinds of comments will obviously set her on a path of negative self-talk.
Biodad is on probation for video voyeurism. He has to drive to West Palm once a week for court-ordered therapy. Now his license is suspended for non-payment of tickets and he expects his older sister to "lend" him the money to pay them off, drive him to and from work, and basically be the grownup. He continues to mooch off her by living in her apartment for free and she enables him by jumping at every turn when he "needs" to be rescued. Sickening.
Grand loves sleeping in my bed. I allow it for naptime but can't allow it overnight. I just can't sleep with both her and husband in the bed with me so I always return her to her bed after a while and she stays in her bed the rest of the night. She still resists using the potty and she knows it frustrates me. She has a quick temper and, though I never reward her whining, she will test me by getting into things she knows not to, refusing to wear clothes, etc.
She sees her little friend around the corner whine and cry over everything, and calls her a crybaby. I'm trying to teach her that big girls don't behave like that, that she'll get what she wants much more often when she's calm and reasonable.
I still hope the day comes when my daughter and biodad both just go away. Neither has anything positive to offer her. Their love is just not enough. In my opinion, and from my observations, neither of them has matured at all, regarding how they control their money and how they function socially. At ages 23 and 27, they should be way more mature than this and I don't see any positive change in either of them. I predict biodad will end up in prison eventually for some heinous crime against a woman (date rape perhaps) and my daughter will disappear with some guy to a faraway place to follow the guy's dream. Sad but that's what I'm braced for.
She continues to burn money on stupid, frivolous things, continues to go out and get drunk at clubs, continues to gloat about her wild exploits on facebook. She's finally respecting most of the boundaries I've set for her. No more library books delivered to my house in her name, no more expectation of rides to or from work. She sees her daughter once a week, supervised at my home.
Some visits go well, others I'm fuming mad because of her thoughtless comments and behaviors. One thing she's fixated on is my granddaughter's navel. It's somewhat of an "outie" and my daughter checks it and comments, "Hopefully it'll go in over time," etc. One minute she says my grand has an eating disorder because she eats sporadically. The next minute she says my grand is going to get fat because she loves candy. All these comments are confusing and negative and I don't want my grand to start obsessing over such ridiculous things. She's only 3 1/2 after all, and those kinds of comments will obviously set her on a path of negative self-talk.
Biodad is on probation for video voyeurism. He has to drive to West Palm once a week for court-ordered therapy. Now his license is suspended for non-payment of tickets and he expects his older sister to "lend" him the money to pay them off, drive him to and from work, and basically be the grownup. He continues to mooch off her by living in her apartment for free and she enables him by jumping at every turn when he "needs" to be rescued. Sickening.
Grand loves sleeping in my bed. I allow it for naptime but can't allow it overnight. I just can't sleep with both her and husband in the bed with me so I always return her to her bed after a while and she stays in her bed the rest of the night. She still resists using the potty and she knows it frustrates me. She has a quick temper and, though I never reward her whining, she will test me by getting into things she knows not to, refusing to wear clothes, etc.
She sees her little friend around the corner whine and cry over everything, and calls her a crybaby. I'm trying to teach her that big girls don't behave like that, that she'll get what she wants much more often when she's calm and reasonable.
I still hope the day comes when my daughter and biodad both just go away. Neither has anything positive to offer her. Their love is just not enough. In my opinion, and from my observations, neither of them has matured at all, regarding how they control their money and how they function socially. At ages 23 and 27, they should be way more mature than this and I don't see any positive change in either of them. I predict biodad will end up in prison eventually for some heinous crime against a woman (date rape perhaps) and my daughter will disappear with some guy to a faraway place to follow the guy's dream. Sad but that's what I'm braced for.
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