the memorial

We lost our funny, smart, creative 37 year old daughter on December 1.  It has been a heartbreaking month trying to come to grips with the fact that she is no longer here.  She was the one who made sure we remembered birthdays and came up with the thoughtful gifts "I'll just whip something up".  The something was invariably beautiful and just the right thing.  The heartbreaking part is our beautiful 13 year old granddaughter is motherless.  We got through Christmas with the support of our family and friends.  We had a funeral on the 6th in the East in the rural area that she loved - surrounded by the friends and neighbours who loved her.  It was difficult but we got through it.Lisa spent her first 25 years in the West so we had a memorial on the 27th - yesterday.  It was more diffiucult than the first one - perhaps because we had just celebrated Christmas without her, perhaps because the reality has set in, or possibly because her lifelong friends were there.  Even her Grade 1 teacher came.  Her husband and dad did the eulogy and it was the hardest thing my husband has ever had to do - say goodbye to his baby girl!  I have been reading the entries and know I am not alone but is sure is hard.  Sometimes I just want to hit someone.  I get angry with people who tell me she is in a better place.  I have a hard time believing that there is a better place than with her beloved family,  riding horses, painting and making everyone laugh - she was happiest when those around her were happy. I know we will get through this but life will never hold the joy we felt before we lost our beloved daughter.