The Mask?
Lately, I feel as though I am wearing a mask. It's a strange, uncomfortable feeling. I mistrust my own face; don't even know what it looks like because I put my mask on at such a young age perhaps. Realizing that sooner or later I must drop it and face that reflection.The mask is silent, and behind it feels like screaming. Maybe the mask is festive, and eyes weep. This damn mask chafes and confines me, but gives protection too. I am naked without it; I have nowhere to hide. Just trying to summon the courage to drop the mask, must believe in myself enough to trust the naked vulnerability.May I take courage in knowing that everyone is vulnerable and afraid. Ok, wearing my own face proudly will perhaps show that it's possible..and fine. Soon, masks will be dropping all around.Yes, tomorrow i will risk it..showing myself as I am....
Replies
Hum I too have a mask. People don\'t really always want to see the real person behind that mask. It is easier to think that other\'s lives are pain free. But my mask comes off more, and more. I think that your heart shines through so brightly. It is hard to hide a true heart and a good man. Big hugs.
This is an interesting entry, meddle. I was just thinking the other day, that this impending divorce is a chance for me to be myself again. To NOT have to wear the mask I\'ve been wearing for the past 18 years. I\'m looking forward to meeting all of us! {{{meddle}}}
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm I was born into southern girl culture, they put a mask in the crib with us
I think controlling you mask perhaps? Being to the point that you can be cloaked if you need to, to get through an uncomfortable situation where you do not need to connect with the people involved, but being able to take it off when you need to. Thanks for sharing this, lots to think on~~~
(((Meddle))))) I grew up with a mask of being a people pleaser through fear and abuse. You have seen first hand what happened to me when the mask were cast aside and the real me emerged. It is scary, I won\'t kid you, but it is so liberating, so peaceful to know that people that respond to you , are responding to you, and only you. I am me now. It is not such a bad place to be. I had to learn to care for me, and feel that I was a valuable human being, and I am there. real. I am so real it almost hurts for others to be in my presence, but I will continue to be who I am, and I know the who that you are in so worth knowing. Love and hugs dear man, Kimmee
I think we all wear masks and now that we are embarking on our new lives, we have to shed those masks to find who we really are inside. It\'s scary but liberating too.
You guys are the best! Thanks for your comments.. thanks much!!
Good journal M. I know in the beginning I wore a mask all the time. I think for me it was easier to hide behind the mask then really deal with issues at hand. Just like the voids in my life, I used those to really cover up what was really going on in my life. It\'s hard to face reality and it\'s easier to hide behind masks and voids. Sooner or later we do need to drop them and deal with our issues. Even if they are hard, it helps in our healing and helps us get to the next chapter in our lives.
Hugs to you sweet man, you\'ve come a long way. Just journaling about this shows that.
Oh My God...The freakin time you write a journal and my emails dont tell me who has written a journal and just by chance I see it. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to write anything. This entry is awesome!!!! Great progress!!!
(((((meddle))))))
I think we all wear different masks at different times... at work, with family, with different circles of different friends.. eventually it does come down I think when your with someone you can be completely comfortable with (this also includes yourself)... you\'re definitely one of the sweetest, level headed, compassionate men Id ever met.. if anyone can figure this out.. its you!
((((Meddle)))) I love reading your journals :) Do it more often! this was beautiful, thank you for sharing. I see no reason for you to hide..you are one of the kindest, most beautiful souls I have had the pleasure to meet. Nothing to hide Mark..keep letting your spirit shine!
Meddle-
Thanks a lot! I started to write a comment and I wrote a journal entry. Luck for you I put it in MY journal. Anyway- my point is that you inspired me to think about and examine my own aproach to revealing myself and wearing masks.
deramo