the loneliness never ends......

The lonelines of 8 months just never ends and every day i wonder why.Why did my Brad kill himself? Why? This question I am playing over and over.I have been busy looking for work and have put my application in 7 different places.So far no one has replied to me and I am getting a bit frustrated.WHere are all of these jobs?Why are the super rich being targeted? I am a blue collar worker.Punched  a time card for years.I am not at all skilled and can do various jobs.When I graduated high school in 1966,a great deal of my class mates were getting engaged.I did not have a boyfriend and I didnt date much in high school much to my regret.Oh! It was such a different time.Every Saturday i listened to the radio.The WMCA GOOD Guys..and many of them have died.I wish things are different now but life goes on.People change and forget about their friends and when they are a certain age...tend to try to get in touch with them and this has been the case with me.Friends come.Friends go.Friends move.Friends change.But with my case...I grew apart from my friends.I dont share their interests.I dont go shopping up at the mall...I cant afford it.I dont go on vacations.I cant afford it.I dont go to movies or concerts because they are so expensive in seattle...and I love to do this..but i cant afford it and some of the music here now is fantastic.My favorite group is appearing in seattle and i have always wanted to go.I have always liked Alice in Chains and i love the sounds of Metallica.Also...Kiss may tour here again and i want to go back I have noone to go with and the concerts get out pretty late.Downtown seattle buses only run til 12.30.If the concert gets out at 1.00 how am I going to get home? I am in the process of looking for work and that is a full time job.I have got another interview today and i go to my employment councilor every two weeks.So far 7 places.No response.And I am beginning to wonder about the state of the economy.Speaking of movies the movei Avatar here is popluar.This movie theatre is charging 12.50 to see this movie and I dont want to pay this amount.12.50 is a lot of money and when you get into the movie theater..you are literally screwed.The prices of the candy,soda and popcorn can kill you and AMC which shows this movie wont allow anyone to bring outside food into the theatrer.They say outside food will attract rats and i dont believe this.How many of us have brought candy from home? I have done this several times.but this is the end of my journal and I just signed up to see Avon and i will let people know when I make the first sale.