The Loan

Another poem... my stepmother sent me a poem called The Loan and a friend also sent a copy and it was called The Child... either title... it moves me... I think that I will call it God's Child... after all so many times I told Cara she was my child but that she was God's child first... I do not know who wrote this but I thank them so much and I thank my stepmother who has had to walk away from the graveyard four times leaving one of her children behind and who even now is caring for her oldest daughter and praying as we all are... We love you Joann always... GOD'S CHILD "I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said, "For you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she's dead. "It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three, "But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me? "She'll bring her charms to gladden you, and shall her stay be brief, "You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief. "I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earth return, "But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn. "I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true "And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you. "Now will you give her all your love, nor think the labor vain, "Nor hate me when I come to call to take her back again?" I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done! "For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run. "We'll shelter her with tenderness, we'll love her while we may, "And for the happiness we've known forever grateful stay; "But shall the angels call for her much sooner than we've planned, We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand." I thought about this long and hard. I wondered to myself would I have agreed if I had known... would I have agreed to see my child go through what she suffered... Finally I knew that even if I had known... I could not have turned away from my child whom I love so much... I do wish it had been different.. I am human... but if this is what must be... then I accept... I also thought about the part about I have lessons I want this child to learn and I believe perhaps those left here on earth have lessons to learn from our children's lives and deaths. Cara was such a lovely child. When she was little she was called Ms Sunshine by staff at the elementary school she attended. I too was called a Ms Sunshine by neighbors when I was small my mother told me. Thinking back on that I wonder where all the joy went. Obviously calling a little girl Ms Sunshine is not uncommon... there's even a movie out about Little Ms Sunshine... Somehow some of us manage to hold onto that effervescent personality and those who do are a joy to the world... It would be good to know for our children for ourselves how to bring at least some of that joy forward into our adult lives. I'm beginning to believe that the answer lies in faith. I do know that I felt much better after creating my God box. Over the years I've heard the arguments for and against faith... I have chosen to keep my faith even though it may seem simplistic its really not at all... You know the standard "I'll pray for you" I'm going to work harder to pray for all of us myself included. I do believe it will ease our hearts. Thinking of you. Elissa