The Letter

I wrote a lengthy letter to my husband yesterday explaining some of my feelings about his affair.  After our kids went to bed, I gave it to him.  He read the letter and we talked about a lot of our problems that opened up the door for him to have the affair.  It was very emotional on both of our sides and I learned some of the reasons he felt disconnected to me.  As we talked, I felt myself starting to forgive.  We are not in any way ready to move past this but we have a start.  He told me that he is absolutely positive that we can rebuild our marriage.  He said that it may not be what it was but there is a chance that it can be better in a different way.  He wants me, loves me and does not want to lose me.  That is a start. I am almost afraid to hope but yet can't seem to help myself.  I know I do not trust him and that it may be a long time before I can, but I want to try.  I know that I am suspicious but since he confessed the affair, he has been with me only.  I know that it has only been 2 weeks and I am not denying that the affair happened but I want to make my marriage work.  I am not denying that I am still in a lot of emotional pain or that this is hard for me.  Most days I want to cry to some extent.  But today I feel HOPE!