The left hand turn

 For the last 22 years I have been a friend, child, husband and caregiver. Monday May 7, 2018 my life took a sudden left handed turn at at a high rate of speed when I woke up to begin my morning rituals and upon trying to wake my wife I found she had passed away during the night. The general results have been like taking a left hand turn at a high rate of speed and not being able to regain control. Everything seems to be going so fast and no matter what I try to do I just can't seem to regain control. 

 I've gone back to work but feel out of place. When I leave for work I get a little emotional because there isn't that special person telling me to be careful. My breaks seem lonely because the phone calls I used to make to see how things were going at home. Leaving work is pure torture because I know I am going home to an empty house. To a lonely existance. To the same bed I've spent the last 22 years sleeping next to the most important person in my life in and it is empty. I kow I am going to have problems getting to sleep because that nightly betime conversation is one sided now. 

 I've been sorting through clothing, shoes, cosmetics, letters, cards and such trying to figure out what to do with it all. Some has been donated or just given away to good people. Some things I can't figure out why they were kept. Plans that had been made have now been un-planned. I am still lost as to what to do next with the exception that knowing at some point I am going to slow down for a moment and cry for the loss I have experienced. 

 What do I do next?