The last call

It has been a ride the last ten days. I finally got a few days off and went to see JayZ and JayT in concert- truly amazing; something my head needed! Then, I find out the guy my husband bonded on a 75,000 bond, skips his 2nd day of trial. I truly think that owning a bail bonds company is what we are meant to do; everyone deserves bail- but 75,000 is a large amount to pay for a man I don't even know. For 24 hours, I thought my heart would stop if I had to pay, but instead the man was caught. I hate that too- the trial proceeded without him- he was convicted on every count, since the defense could not put on their part of the case without him there. Now, he's getting life without parole- my God, LIFE, for a 1 day skip of court- LIFE for a momentary lapse of reason...Some bonds I never forget, this will be one of them that I will often think about the man and wonder if he's surviving in prison. 
Tonight my son should have called at 9pm- he didn't. Tonight he got put in holding till the am when he will go to DOC intake- where he will get no visits and no phone calls. I feel sick- like the world is moving and I can't. I have never went without talking with or seeing one of my children- for a month; which is the average intake stay. I hate the prosecutor for being inhumane, the judge for not knowing who he sentences, my parents for being the world's worst grandparents, and the system for being flawed and down right cruel. 
God- please help my son stay safe, stay focused, and know that this will be over. God- please help me be strong and be the best defense attorney that I can every time I defend someone, let me never lose sight of this moment.