The Journey continues though the end is near

Today is another day closer to my end...actually my beginning. My husband is being administratively detoxed from his methadone program. He is sick. Sick as a dog but his own actions caused his administrative detox. His treatment plan was a slow detox to 30mg then inpatient detox (the facilities will only allow him a bed once he at 30mg of methadone). Unfortunately, the clinic decided to detox him much faster than he expected so he is sick, miserable and mean. No real change for me. He's been sick, miserable and mean since he relapsed on heroin; methadone was just another attempt for him to avoid treatment. At least that is how I feel. Our lease is up next month. I already moved out but as I stated in a previously entry, I visit on weekends..so yes...I still enable. My last steps in my journey with him is to end this lease and what happens next is up to him. I will be living fulltime with my family, with the apartment gone I no longer have the ability to visit with him and I no longer will. Of course it is up to me to commit to this end but like I said, it is up to me. For his part, since I will no longer be providing him shelter, he "says" and I put says in quotations because all of us that live with or love an addict know they "say" alot...anyway, he says he will put himself into inpatient detox and then inpatient treatment. My boundaries with him are as follows: I will not give him any money. I will not provide him wit any housing. I will not agree to live with him again unless he goes to inpatient treatment for 6months to a year, then goes into sober living, then finds a job and finds his own apartment, pay his own bills, be responsible for himself. If he can commit to these things and one by one achieve each goal then I can one day see him again. I do agree to attend any inpatient family counseling sessions offered. However, I will not bend when it comes to the terms that he and I agreed. Don't get me wrong I didn't come up with this on my own. He claims to be tired of being addicted and that he wants to fix himself, his family, and our marriage. A part of me wants to wish that he can stick to the plan and truly commit to a sober life but I know my reality is that he most likely won't. I've been through this long enough with him but he's never actually said he would go to treatment. Only time will tell how this story ends. I know this much. My story won't end. Regardless of what happens I know I will be ok and I promise myself that I won't settle for anything less with him. I love my husband more than his drug wants. BUt I'm not going to be a slave to his drugs or his addiction for much longer. My plan takes affect very soon and this time I am committing to me. Pray for my strength and his resilience.