The inevitable disconnect from my mother in law
I will preface this by saying that I own a vending business.One of my machines is located at a business where a man works that raped me and my daughter.That was how he was able to get close to me and my daughter and manipulate me at a time when I was very emotionally distraught.He played the friendly offender part very well acting as a friend who was trying to help me when my husband and I separated but he was using that ploy to isolate me and anytime he would get me alone he would assault me and I wouldn't remember because I dissociated it.I thought he was a friend and actually contemplated inviting him and his wife to my wedding.As I got into recovery in came the real memories of what this man truly did. He is a completely vile psychopathic serial rapist and pedophile and has a criminal record to prove it.My husband and I refuse to go pick this machine up until this man is put in prison. Not because I fear him but because my husband would hurt him very badly if we did. My husband is not a violent person but this is the exception to that rule.He has had to sit here and listen to his wife and daughter explain our memories and watch us suffer the consequences of this man actions while the judicial system drags their asses about it.I have no doubt he would seriously hurt this man if he saw him face to face.So a couple of days ago I am explaining this to my mother in law.That we are struggling financially because of a revictimization by the judicial system that caused my business to be destroyed.I have money in this machine at the business where this man is employed but I refuse to go get it until he is arrested.My mother in law in her denial tells me "your gonna have to suck it up and go pick up your machine".I ask her do you have money to bail your son out of jail after he beats the hell out of this rapist?No answer.Then I thought to myself yeah I'm going to go pick this machine up the whole while my daughter is ripping her hair out because she is being triggered by this place.What a fucking idiot this woman is. I wanted so badly to hang up on her but I granted her the privilege of talking to her granddaughter one last time. It is obvious to me and my husband that she refuses to step out of denial and we are done with her. I don't need that kind of influence on my child when she is trying to heal.My mother in law has also tried to force religion on my child.Something she knows me and my husband do not want.We have seen her use religion to deny her feelings away of her own abuses and we don't want her doing that to our child because we want her to heal the right way.She has said many things that were hurtful and down right abusive and my husband and I want no part of her any longer.
Replies
Good for you, for standing your ground. It\'s a shame your mother-in-law can\'t come out of denial and support her son and his family. I hope they get the bastard who did this to you.
Thank you Paige.
my amnesia isn\'t as strong as yours. sounds like you are making changes and things and hope that guy gets put away. hugs, Kell
Yeah Wuts I dissociated and forgot many,many things even men sexually harrassing me.It hindered me from being safe because I would forget them harrassing me and it would ultimately escalate to assault. If I wouldn\'t have suppressed them harrassing me I could have stayed away.The double edged sword of MPD.I am so happy to be out of denial now to better protect myself.Thank you I am not going to stop until he is behind bars for a long long time.