The inevitable

How am I supposed to make the people around me comfortable with the fact that I know I will eventually kill myself. It probably won't be 'till I'm living alone, but my family and loved ones need to understand that it's gonna happen. I can't control my mind. All I can do is fight it for as long as I can.
I'm a shitty daughter. A crappy sister. and a horrible girlfriend.
My entire life I've been waiting for love, because I thought it was going to save me in the end. But it's not. I keep fucking up and I currently have the most love in my life ever. My mother would do anything, and is the greatest support system ever. I no longer see my brothers as the boys who mollested me years ago, I finally see them as brothers. The longer I life, the further away I'll feel from my dead fathers love. My girlfriend loves me, but because we both have major mental health problems, I wonder if that'll even work out.
I'm just tired. I fight for my life every day that I wake up. I struggle every second. and it never gets better.
I can't work. I can barely fuction. So what the hell am I to do. Quit. I figure the earlier I quit the less people I will have given the chance to get to know me, in turn will equal the less pain. Mind you, the older I am the less sad it will people, and people can't say that I haven't lived my life yet.
I'm just so done and I can't wait for someone to understand that death is my only option. I'll be gone in time. and I can't wait.