The Grief Monster
The Grief Monster
And so, the grief monster awakens. At almost twenty weeks he's been playing hide and seek with me.
I'm learning how to ward him off.
Today he woke up with a vengeance! Why?
Because my co-workers sister lost her husband in a tragic accident, leaving her alone with six children. Gosh I know how she feels. Know what's coming. Man, is he (the grief monster) trying to work a number on me. Calling me out, calling me a liar and a phony. I shouldn't be smiling or laughing. The pain is still too raw.
But, some times I say "Yes my smile is very real and I can name you the times."
When I tell people about Johnny, how wonderful he was, and the impact that he made on my life.
What shuts the monster up for me is the waylaying him with my best memories of Johnny.
Johnny and Kenzie waiting of the porch for me to drive in. Johnny (an old school phone user) learning how to play candy crush on his smart phone and then passing me up on the next level. The same with "Monster Busters", which now at this very moment I find appropriate. "Monster Buster, Grief Monster" and I laugh for real this time.
But he's awake, lurking near. Just waiting for me to get off work. And his whispers start.
"He won't be waiting for you. The house will be dark when you pull in."
But I know now, I"m not so afraid, I know he lies even as I know the truth.
Johnny's not out on the porch waiting for me, Supper won't be started and I will walk into an empty house. All of that is true.
But I know now how to fight you grief monster.
I've learned to leave the lights on, and also because in my heart and in my spirit Johnny will always be there. So put that in your pipe and smoke it you monster. I'm learning to fight back. Deborah Neeley 12/16/15
And so, the grief monster awakens. At almost twenty weeks he's been playing hide and seek with me.
I'm learning how to ward him off.
Today he woke up with a vengeance! Why?
Because my co-workers sister lost her husband in a tragic accident, leaving her alone with six children. Gosh I know how she feels. Know what's coming. Man, is he (the grief monster) trying to work a number on me. Calling me out, calling me a liar and a phony. I shouldn't be smiling or laughing. The pain is still too raw.
But, some times I say "Yes my smile is very real and I can name you the times."
When I tell people about Johnny, how wonderful he was, and the impact that he made on my life.
What shuts the monster up for me is the waylaying him with my best memories of Johnny.
Johnny and Kenzie waiting of the porch for me to drive in. Johnny (an old school phone user) learning how to play candy crush on his smart phone and then passing me up on the next level. The same with "Monster Busters", which now at this very moment I find appropriate. "Monster Buster, Grief Monster" and I laugh for real this time.
But he's awake, lurking near. Just waiting for me to get off work. And his whispers start.
"He won't be waiting for you. The house will be dark when you pull in."
But I know now, I"m not so afraid, I know he lies even as I know the truth.
Johnny's not out on the porch waiting for me, Supper won't be started and I will walk into an empty house. All of that is true.
But I know now how to fight you grief monster.
I've learned to leave the lights on, and also because in my heart and in my spirit Johnny will always be there. So put that in your pipe and smoke it you monster. I'm learning to fight back. Deborah Neeley 12/16/15
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