The Goodbye Party

Well, I decided not to let my emotions get in the way of attending the goodbye party for my step-daughter and her boyfriend today.  I told them I would attend, and I got them a card.  I had already given them some money for their move to WI.
I just got back from the goodbye party.  For the most part, I did okay.
My ex called me a couple hours before the party and asked me to come over and install the pump for the waterfall in the small pond.  I got it done before the guests arrived.  She also had me do all the grilling and I did okay - didn't burn anything. 
The party was tough as one of the guests who we haven't seen in some time, said "Well Mr. and Mrs. (our last name), the party was very nice" as he was leaving.
 
Other friends of ours had come down from VT and were supposed to stay over, but at the last minute couldn't stay.  My Ex had said she couldn't ride with me on Sunday morning as these friends were staying over.  She went for a walk with me after the party and I asked her if she wanted to ride in the morning since they couldn't stay, but she said she was going out.  I asked her if it was another date, and she said yes.  I guess she must have texted him during the party when the plans changed.  I don't know why, but it really hurt inside when she said it was another date.
 
After the walk, she read me the new chapter she wrote last night for her fourth novel, then I said goodbye to my step-daughter, wished her a safe trip and told her I love her, and I left.  
 
My Ex told me she is going to bring my son over after they all (my Ex and the kids) go hiking on Monday morning, and now I'll have him Monday afternoon which is better than nothing.  I'm not invited to go hiking with them.
 
I'm having such a hard time letting go, and I'm really all torn up inside, but I didn't cry in spite of the pain, nor did I say or do anything that let the pain show.  I just said goodnight and left.

How do I force myself to move on?  How do I let go and heal?  In some ways, I think it would be easier if I started seeing someone too, but I don't want to do that as a reaction, and I want to be whole for whomever comes into my life next, if anyone ever does.

Replies

kbbcoop77
kbbcoop77

Contact always sucks...and seeing them while they have moved on or are moving on is torture ..really you need to minimize as much as possible. Joint parties shouldn\'t be a part of the plan of moving forward while you still have feelings for her. You WILL move on but the contact has to be cut wayyyyy back. I haven\'t even seen my ex in probably 7 months or so. No talking either just text or best yet email and ONLY about the kids. It\'s protecting yourself and that\'s all that matters now. It\'s difficult but totally necessary to get to indifference. And that\'s the goal. Hang in there !!