The good, the bad.
The good...
I dealt with a lot of my social anxiety - talking doesn't give me a heart attack anymore.
I don't feel "trapped" when I'm at work or stuck somewhere else.
I hardly have nightmares, the big bad stuff doesn't come around unless for a few weeks at a time.
I have learned to speak for myself and draw lines somewhat, I want improvement.
I have learned to express my opinions even though sometimes I don't like how loud it can be.
I don't feel the same level of self-disgust.
I don't seriously think about being dead - but I have bouts with "can I just freaking leave" feelings.
I don't have flashbacks, no jarring flashbacks unless they're on a emotional level.
I don't feel unstable when I'm alone...of course I haven't had the house to myself for extended periods of time since the beginning of 2010.
I can learn now without spazzing, things stick in my head and processes make sense.
I don't a lot of things anymore.
The ugh...
I have trust issues still, not that they're completely unjustified, considering.
I have bouts with at least, the blues...I don't really feel 100% ever...so I dunno if that's just normal or whatever.
I have a hard time sticking up for myself and dealing with people who are difficult or rough. Or for asking or feeling that I deserve what I want.
Drawing lines so as to not overextend myself also appears to still be a problem.
I have nightmares sometimes, but they've calmed down a lot.
I have self-esteem issues still, but not self-justification issues...I wish they would trade. Still all about the feeling bad in comparison to others issue, it comes and goes.
I have moments where I just DO NOT want anyone to touch me or anything.
I dealt with a lot of my social anxiety - talking doesn't give me a heart attack anymore.
I don't feel "trapped" when I'm at work or stuck somewhere else.
I hardly have nightmares, the big bad stuff doesn't come around unless for a few weeks at a time.
I have learned to speak for myself and draw lines somewhat, I want improvement.
I have learned to express my opinions even though sometimes I don't like how loud it can be.
I don't feel the same level of self-disgust.
I don't seriously think about being dead - but I have bouts with "can I just freaking leave" feelings.
I don't have flashbacks, no jarring flashbacks unless they're on a emotional level.
I don't feel unstable when I'm alone...of course I haven't had the house to myself for extended periods of time since the beginning of 2010.
I can learn now without spazzing, things stick in my head and processes make sense.
I don't a lot of things anymore.
The ugh...
I have trust issues still, not that they're completely unjustified, considering.
I have bouts with at least, the blues...I don't really feel 100% ever...so I dunno if that's just normal or whatever.
I have a hard time sticking up for myself and dealing with people who are difficult or rough. Or for asking or feeling that I deserve what I want.
Drawing lines so as to not overextend myself also appears to still be a problem.
I have nightmares sometimes, but they've calmed down a lot.
I have self-esteem issues still, but not self-justification issues...I wish they would trade. Still all about the feeling bad in comparison to others issue, it comes and goes.
I have moments where I just DO NOT want anyone to touch me or anything.
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