The good...bad...and indifferent
Well...I went to see a specialist yesterday about placing a prepreganancy TAC...whelp that went okay. He told me that I "have no cervix" well less than a inch of cervix and that I definitely need an abdominal cerclage put in. Well...that is what I wanted so I guess I'm happy about that but to hear that I have no cervix struck my core. So even if we wanted to try on our own..which is not possible...I would have lost that child as well so I guess in a way it's good news.
The bad...we were advised not to try to conceive for at least 4-5 months after the surgery. Now...that sucks! I was really hoping to try a November transfer but I guess that will have to be put off.
I don't know how or what to feel about the whole situation. I want to be content with it all but deep down...I am PISSED! I am pissed that we have to struggle through all of this. I'm pissed that I have no cervix...I'm pissed that my kids were taken away from me...I'm pissed that I have to wait so long before we can even try again.
I guess I should have titled this "I'm pissed" because truly that's what I am. I have my surgery on the 30th which is really quick so I guess that's something to smile about but I hate being away from work. Anyone who is a school teacher knows that it is easier to be IN the classroom than plan for a sub. Hopefully I won't be out long and use up all my sick days right off the back!!
Thanks for letting me rant!!!
The bad...we were advised not to try to conceive for at least 4-5 months after the surgery. Now...that sucks! I was really hoping to try a November transfer but I guess that will have to be put off.
I don't know how or what to feel about the whole situation. I want to be content with it all but deep down...I am PISSED! I am pissed that we have to struggle through all of this. I'm pissed that I have no cervix...I'm pissed that my kids were taken away from me...I'm pissed that I have to wait so long before we can even try again.
I guess I should have titled this "I'm pissed" because truly that's what I am. I have my surgery on the 30th which is really quick so I guess that's something to smile about but I hate being away from work. Anyone who is a school teacher knows that it is easier to be IN the classroom than plan for a sub. Hopefully I won't be out long and use up all my sick days right off the back!!
Thanks for letting me rant!!!
Replies
I\'m so glad you\'re getting the TAC so quickly, but it sucks you\'ll have to wait so long to transfer. The only consolation is knowing that your little ones will be wrapped up nice and tight with nowhere to go for 9 months.
You\'re so strong. You really inspire me. And I think you deserve to be pissed at everyone and everything and you shouldn\'t feel bad about it for one second!!! xoxo
You have every right to be pissed! This stuff is not easy so keep on being pissed until you feel something else. I bet this surgery will give you hope.
That\'s awesome your surgery is so soon! That\'s better than having to wait 3-4 months for surgery and then having to wait again before transfer. Truly January will be here before you know it! I am sure your students will keep you occupied and entertained until then.
Good luck and keep us posted on how surgery goes!
I\'m so glad you are getting the TAC and so sorry that you have to wait so long to try again. I realize many ppl will tell you that anger is a wasted emotion and only hurts you but I am a firm believer in embracing our anger. It\'s real, it deserves to have a voice until we are ready to move on to other emotions. I think it\'s a huge part of the healing process.
I\'m happy to hear you get the surgery on the 30th! Less than 2 weeks to go!
Being pissed is expected. You have been through a lot, and with the surgery coming up, and the long wait... well, it\'s fucking annoying! It is great that you have something to work towards that will help you have a successful pregnancy. The wait after the surgery will be very hard, but being in tip top shape will help a lot in the long run. And who knows, maybe you heal up quicker than they expect and you can move the date up a bit!
I wish you the best of luck!
Vent away. I\'m pissed for you.
The whole process sucks. The wait sucks. The price tag sucks. The hope and then pain sucks. I guess if I wrote this journal I would call it. THIS SUCKS.
The good news is you are getting that TAC. Sorry for the wait though. Maybe the bright side is you can get through the holidays knowing youdot have to do anything.
Sorry you have to wait until the new year to TTC again but the TAC should give you greater odds that your next pregnancy will go full term and that will make the wait well worth it! I hope the surgery on the 30th goes smoothly! XO
Thanks ladies. I am really trying to stay positive here....but it is really hard. As always you give such great advice!!!
I so understand how you feel and pissed is good.
I\'m glad they are moving ahead with the TAC. With my additiinal complications, I can\'t get one, just a normal cerclage. Don\'t know if that would be enough. I hate being on the side lines. I hope time flies for you.
good luck with surgery.
I\'m so happy that you are scheduled and ready to push forward with your surgery! A blessing is coming and soon!! You have every right to be upset. Always remember Gods time may not always be our time! He knows best, he has everything in a row waiting for you!
Again I am over joyed for you! I pray surgery goes well!!
prayers & Hugs