The girl and my mother.
She's 15 now - and she doesn't want me to be part of her life. She wants to be independent, and resents me taking part in her life. Although she has been diagnosed "bi-polar", she wants to be off medication, yet admits that she cannot control herself.
I want her off the depakote, because it is making her hair fall out and effecting her thyroid, and when we manage to, against the odds, find a doctor willing to take her on, I'm going to talk to them about it, but she wants to be "unmedicated", thinking that she has the right to decide that.
She sent a picture of herself in her underwear to a boy at school, claiming that he blackmailed her into doing it, and said that she has proof of it, however, she did not want me to know about it, nor does she understand the trouble all this could cause.
I'm sick of the fighting, and tired of fighting every step of the way for her, only to have her fight me as well.
Now, I have my mother adding to my burden in every way she can, thinking that she is helping, but not helping. She keeps moving things around, so that in addition to all the work I have to do around here just to keep ahead of things (7 loads of laundry in 2 days, 12 diapers, 1 sponge bath, and several meals), I have to go and hunt things down - things like the trash barrel from the kitchen, which was put into the hallway. I have to remake the bed that I already made because she wheeled herself in there and unmade it, and she went through the trash, removing things I'd thrown away.
I was in the middle of making dinner yesterday, when she decided that this was the perfect time to go to the bathroom - an exercise which requires the most attention, as there is equipment involved and she cannot perform this function by herself. She could have waited, but no.
And the girl had 2 of the laundry baskets in her room full of clean clothes that she hadn't put away, and I needed them - so I asked her to put her clothes away and put her dirty ones down the laundry shoot. Instead, she mixed the clean and dirty on the floor, emptying the baskets, and went back to bed.
I am totally going to lose it here - neither of them will accept my authority so nobody is in charge in this looney bin. I don't get enough sleep, or enough rest to keep my back from serious pain, and I'm doing too much work, and every time I leave the room, my mother moves something or does something that I am going to have to move back or undo - and the girl is helping her.
This was yet another mistake. 3 days and already I know - and I can't leave. I did talk to the nurse so that there will be a visiting nurse a few times a week to help with my mother, as well as a PT a couple of times, as well. My brother (that brother) is coming over on Monday to sit with her so that I can get out of here for a while - and I'll finish what I can of Christmas shopping, and maybe get a little time to myself to reboot.
I don't think that it will be enough. I have no idea how I'll be able to deal with this. My mother drove me crazy every time I have lived with her and while she was in the nursing home things were different - but here, it is more of the same.
I want her off the depakote, because it is making her hair fall out and effecting her thyroid, and when we manage to, against the odds, find a doctor willing to take her on, I'm going to talk to them about it, but she wants to be "unmedicated", thinking that she has the right to decide that.
She sent a picture of herself in her underwear to a boy at school, claiming that he blackmailed her into doing it, and said that she has proof of it, however, she did not want me to know about it, nor does she understand the trouble all this could cause.
I'm sick of the fighting, and tired of fighting every step of the way for her, only to have her fight me as well.
Now, I have my mother adding to my burden in every way she can, thinking that she is helping, but not helping. She keeps moving things around, so that in addition to all the work I have to do around here just to keep ahead of things (7 loads of laundry in 2 days, 12 diapers, 1 sponge bath, and several meals), I have to go and hunt things down - things like the trash barrel from the kitchen, which was put into the hallway. I have to remake the bed that I already made because she wheeled herself in there and unmade it, and she went through the trash, removing things I'd thrown away.
I was in the middle of making dinner yesterday, when she decided that this was the perfect time to go to the bathroom - an exercise which requires the most attention, as there is equipment involved and she cannot perform this function by herself. She could have waited, but no.
And the girl had 2 of the laundry baskets in her room full of clean clothes that she hadn't put away, and I needed them - so I asked her to put her clothes away and put her dirty ones down the laundry shoot. Instead, she mixed the clean and dirty on the floor, emptying the baskets, and went back to bed.
I am totally going to lose it here - neither of them will accept my authority so nobody is in charge in this looney bin. I don't get enough sleep, or enough rest to keep my back from serious pain, and I'm doing too much work, and every time I leave the room, my mother moves something or does something that I am going to have to move back or undo - and the girl is helping her.
This was yet another mistake. 3 days and already I know - and I can't leave. I did talk to the nurse so that there will be a visiting nurse a few times a week to help with my mother, as well as a PT a couple of times, as well. My brother (that brother) is coming over on Monday to sit with her so that I can get out of here for a while - and I'll finish what I can of Christmas shopping, and maybe get a little time to myself to reboot.
I don't think that it will be enough. I have no idea how I'll be able to deal with this. My mother drove me crazy every time I have lived with her and while she was in the nursing home things were different - but here, it is more of the same.
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