the five building blocks of safety
do i deserve to feel safe? sure i do. it's the law. it's my human right.
the five building blocks of safety:
CREATE GROUND RULES
i am doing this for myself on my own. i am okay with that. i think it is best that i do it for me. if i need help, i know i can find it through my cousin or aunt. they have been there for me through this process. i've tried to talk to my other family members and they just don't get it. they care about me. they wish i forget it about it. "don't dwell on it," they tell me.
i really don't have any ground rules about working in this book. i like to think i can spend at least thirty minutes a day to this book, that would be cool. in the past i had trouble focusing, but it is better now. i do want to approach this gently. this is where my yoga skills come in. i am not going to tell anyone about the work i am doing with this book unless i want. i will be selective with whom i tell.
BUILD A CONTAINER
i plan to do these exercises every other day for at least thirty minutes.
i plan to do these exercises alone.
the other option is talking with my cousin and i will if i need to. i feel safe with him.
doing it alone is my first choice and yes being alone is an old pattern.
i choose to work in this workbook when i am relaxed. it doesn't matter so much where i do as long as i am comfortable.
my first choice is available. i live alone. i have time. i know how to not answer the phone. i don't need the television on. i had a hard time with distractions, but not so much now. i meditate and do breath exercises. i practice centering.
when i work in this workbook, i will make sure i am not interrupted.
i will make sure i won't be interrupted by the tv, friends, and family.
i am not afraid of the limits - i am committed.
setting these limits excites me b/c completing this workbook is a big step to healing myself.
FIND A SAFE SPOT
the places i feel safest are: my home is my sanctuary for sure. the key word for me is "feel." it is more about the sensation. i don't feel as rigidity as i have in the past. i think the yoga has done that for me. so i can do it pretty much anywhere.
is there a time of day when i don't feel safe: i think when i am idle my mind wonders. i start doubting myself and then i don't feel safe.
ESTABLISH YOUR PRIVACY
i don't think i need to share this with anyone. i have gotten kind of comfortable with myself now.
i am not comfortable with people seeing the book. so, as a creative project i am going to make a book cover;)
my motives for privacy: i don't feel ashame of the abuse. i was six years old and there was no way i could have defended myself. i do come from a family that keeps things in and to tough it out. i want to see if i can do this for myself.
ESTABLISH A PROTECTIVE RITUAL
whenever i sit down to work in this workbook, i'm going to: have a cup of tea before i began
Things to Think About:
how do i feel when i think about setting boundaries? i did not understand setting boundaries for a long time. i was so desperate for a friend i let anyone in my life. i did not know how to say "no."
what is the different between privacy and secrets? between privacy and shame? privacy is the quality or state of being apart from company or observation and secrets are things kept hidden or unexplained (mystery) and shame is a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety
what wopuld it take for me to create a safe environment for working in this book? confidence/resiliance am i close to creating that place now than when i began? why or why not? yes b/c i am coming into my own self. i am trying to love and respect myself.
the five building blocks of safety:
CREATE GROUND RULES
i am doing this for myself on my own. i am okay with that. i think it is best that i do it for me. if i need help, i know i can find it through my cousin or aunt. they have been there for me through this process. i've tried to talk to my other family members and they just don't get it. they care about me. they wish i forget it about it. "don't dwell on it," they tell me.
i really don't have any ground rules about working in this book. i like to think i can spend at least thirty minutes a day to this book, that would be cool. in the past i had trouble focusing, but it is better now. i do want to approach this gently. this is where my yoga skills come in. i am not going to tell anyone about the work i am doing with this book unless i want. i will be selective with whom i tell.
BUILD A CONTAINER
i plan to do these exercises every other day for at least thirty minutes.
i plan to do these exercises alone.
the other option is talking with my cousin and i will if i need to. i feel safe with him.
doing it alone is my first choice and yes being alone is an old pattern.
i choose to work in this workbook when i am relaxed. it doesn't matter so much where i do as long as i am comfortable.
my first choice is available. i live alone. i have time. i know how to not answer the phone. i don't need the television on. i had a hard time with distractions, but not so much now. i meditate and do breath exercises. i practice centering.
when i work in this workbook, i will make sure i am not interrupted.
i will make sure i won't be interrupted by the tv, friends, and family.
i am not afraid of the limits - i am committed.
setting these limits excites me b/c completing this workbook is a big step to healing myself.
FIND A SAFE SPOT
the places i feel safest are: my home is my sanctuary for sure. the key word for me is "feel." it is more about the sensation. i don't feel as rigidity as i have in the past. i think the yoga has done that for me. so i can do it pretty much anywhere.
is there a time of day when i don't feel safe: i think when i am idle my mind wonders. i start doubting myself and then i don't feel safe.
ESTABLISH YOUR PRIVACY
i don't think i need to share this with anyone. i have gotten kind of comfortable with myself now.
i am not comfortable with people seeing the book. so, as a creative project i am going to make a book cover;)
my motives for privacy: i don't feel ashame of the abuse. i was six years old and there was no way i could have defended myself. i do come from a family that keeps things in and to tough it out. i want to see if i can do this for myself.
ESTABLISH A PROTECTIVE RITUAL
whenever i sit down to work in this workbook, i'm going to: have a cup of tea before i began
Things to Think About:
how do i feel when i think about setting boundaries? i did not understand setting boundaries for a long time. i was so desperate for a friend i let anyone in my life. i did not know how to say "no."
what is the different between privacy and secrets? between privacy and shame? privacy is the quality or state of being apart from company or observation and secrets are things kept hidden or unexplained (mystery) and shame is a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety
what wopuld it take for me to create a safe environment for working in this book? confidence/resiliance am i close to creating that place now than when i began? why or why not? yes b/c i am coming into my own self. i am trying to love and respect myself.
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