the fear in me.

I am afraid to do things today, afraid of getting off the coach. Afraid of life! My mom says she has confidence in me. My mom says she knows I can do anything if i put my mind to it. But my fear is overwhelming.  I dont want to take drugs for anxiety anymore. My ocd is bad too. my fear is running over me today. I cant think straight.  I am trying to be so good. I stopped  smoking, i am on a diet, my house is clean. But i am worried about my middle son. He is drinking, not coming home at night, not calling me or txting that he wont be home. He is smoking, an who knows what else he dose. He did get a second job for Christmas.  Maybe, maybe he will keep so busy, he wont do those things. But he could be doing other things, i dont know. Being a parent is so hard, especially  when your child is hurting themselves. My son wants to be a wrestler,  but evety time he even has a soar arm from lifting things he tells me, and when i try to help him, he refuses it. I dont know what else to do. I tell him he is better than what he is doing. I tell him is smart and he can do better. But he just doesn't get it. 
So i am sitting here today afraid to leave my house.  I know i need to take a anxiety med and i probably  will, to be able to get things done.  I have to go to my mom and dads today. It is such a mess there.  I take the garbage out, and do clothes if i have time.  my dad will probably want me to change his bed too. I have fear in me so bad. How do i control this?