THE EYEYS TELL
I woke this morning to make my way to the kitchen to make some coffee. I could have stopped at the other 2 bathrooms, but decided to for no reason choose the kitchen bathroom...then again maybe there was a reason....As I raised up from the toilet seat I knew the reason. As I glanced into the mirror over the sink, I saw a reflection of someone I really didn't know but yet I did. as I looked into the eyes of this person that was once called me..The eyes of what used to feel and see joy, now as I glanced into the eyes reflecting back at me, I saw sad, tired lonely eyes..These eyes that Once belonged in this body of mine had lost the vibrant look they once processed. The joy, the completeness was gone. As I stood there looking into what once my were my eyes are now , different, empty me sad...I wondered how many times do we US MOMS really look into our eyes anymore. Are we afraid of what the reflection will tell us. Will our eyes tell us how very sad we are deep in side....that if we really stop and look into our eyes we will know how deep our pain is still there and that pain still reflecting in our eyes will continue there even though we continue to wear our mask, but in our eyes are the windows to our soul....that no matter hours or the minutes, time that has passed, all we have to do is look into the mirror, into our eyes and still there in our eyes the story remains....we are mom's, and the reflection in our eyes will remind us, as much as we try, as much as we want others to know we okay,,one glacé into the mirror, our eyes tell us the true story.....our eyes continue to tell us that our heart is still broken, our child is no longer here for us to hold,so as the saying goes our EYES ARE THE WINDOWS TO OUR SOUL..JUST TAKE A LOOK INTO THE MIRROR, YOUR EYES WILL TELL YOUR STORY.
Replies
What a beautiful story. Unfortunately so true. Hugs Susan
Sandi, what a precious journal. Thank you so much for sharing. When I look in the mirror I wonder who this old woman is that is staring back at me. Hope you are doing ok. A friend of mine lost her son last night. His name was also Jeff and he was 38-years-old. He had colon cancer and it had spread all over his body and he suffered a pain that our sons knew all too well. I am still wanting to comfort her but seems like all I can do is hold her hand and cry with her. Love and big hugs to you My Friend, Nell
It\'s not just my eyes.. I aged 20 years that day. I know it.
they only time now I have joy is my eyes is looking upon my new great-grand-babies, but there is pain too, as Jenn should be the one loving them (well, I would be too, but she should be there).
Sandi, such true words...sad but so true. I feel I have aged a thousand years and much of the light in my eyes is gone too. What remains is a hole in my heart. We will long for our kids till we see them again by God\'s grace. Love to you and dearest Ken, Linda
Beautifully written and so very, very true. On occasion I have stopped long enough to glance in the bathroom mirror and yes, the reflection, and eyes looking back at me are tired and sad and broken...
(((hugs))) Merrilee
Yes, I agree Sandi. Our eyes, when filled with truth and honesty, reflect the story of our lives, all the joy and sadness, blessings and heartbreak. And yet there will always be the shadow of our greatest pain of chlld loss.
Hope you are doing well my friend.
Love and tightest of hugs,
Diane
The windows to my soul looks dark. Your words are written so well I have never put the eyes in line with the way I feel. I look Into peoples eye to see how they feel, or just to get a read on them. I never thought what they see when people look into my eyes. Is my mask so well worn that people do not see or do not care. I look at my face and see I am getting older, but am I getting wiser ???
Tight hugs
Penny
That is an absolutely accurate example of the changes I too have experienced. There will always be the underlying sadness of missing our sons and daughters. Longing for what was, yet knowing what is. Our love continues. Our friendships with each other give us strength and a bit of peace.
Hugs for you and dear Ken.
Debbie
So true I don\'t stay looking in the mirror too long because I am reminded of what I dont\' have my Jennifer......Everything you said is so true...my husband tells me so many times that he sees the sadness in my eyes....Knowing that we are all here supporting each other and understand the sadness in our eyes - helps. ((((hugs)))) Vicki
Eyes tell all. The underlying sadness will always be there. Now we can laugh and experience joy. But under it all is the pain and emptiness.
Tight hugs, M
Amen. Agree. Made me tear up reading this.....it is so true. The eyes tell the story - there\'s no life there, so tired and sad, so empty. Patti
I only look in the mirror, to tweeze misplaced hairs on my chin! I don\'t look anything like I did BEFORE. Still shake with fear when son is touring in Europe. (He was in Belgium the day of the last attacks).
Beautiful journal, Sandi. I will never forget the first retreat that I attended in NC and for the very first time everyone had eyes that looked like mine. Honestly, I can spot the \"look\" and I\'m sure you can too. Not often am I fooled as it\'s always there, isn\'t it? The missing and pure longing for what is no longer in the way that we had always hoped and imagined it would be. Deepest of sighs...
Thank goodness we have one another to know that this is the \"look\" that we all have and yes, it is very much there. I saw the \"look\" in my mother\'s eyes when my brother shed his earth suit and little did I know that this would be something the two of us would reflect back and forth with one another.
Hand in hand, Heart to heart and Eye to eye,
XO Joanie