The end of another month,the end of my appeal

Good morning journal,the time is now 8:43am,I have been awake for one hour when I had to let our canine children out to play,well two of them,the smallest one,Bree,stubbornly refused to move from her human mothers side.It's the end of yet another month,a month in which I celebrated? another birthday,I reached the ripe old age of fifty eight,way to go me.We finally heard the decision of the disability tribunal appeal,as we suspected,it was refused,the new evidence we submitted apparently doesn't count for anything,their decision had to be based on the information contained in my original claim which I filed last September and appealed in November 2012 when my condition had not deteriorated to the level it has today.They admitted that my health had worsened drastically but I will have to submit a completely new claim if I want additional,new,evidence considered,and to do that I will have to wait two to three months so that my original claim would not be looked at,and perhaps prejudice,any new one;aren't governments wonderful?,way to go bureaucracy!!.Although I already knew what the verdict would be simply because my gut instinct,and the panel's body language told me,I was still hoping that they would show one shred of human decency in the end,but,as is mostly the case by officials employed by,or for,the government,they didn't,so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised,but when I opened the letter and read it,it still bummed me out.How sick does a person have to be before the people who sit in judgement over us accept that we aren't playing the system?,how long before someone in authority says,"hang on a minute,this guy is really ill?",and hands down a humane and understanding decision to help that would make my life so much easier.I have worked for forty three years of the fifty eight I have spent on this planet,in that time I have paid every cent of tax,every contribution to our welfare and health care systems,and now,when I actually need it,it isn't there for me,do I feel that's a little unfair?,oh yes siree I feel cheated,what was the point in paying all that money in only to find that after all this time,it meant nothing at all.I began my working life at the age of fifteen,I didn't get to go to college or university although I was smart enough,my mom was a widow and I was the eldest of two boys,so I had to go out and earn a living,and although my art teacher begged my mom to let me go to college to study art,and eventually teach it,she refused,she needed me to work for the family,it was just the way it was back then,it was your duty,and I did my duty.Eventually,I realized that I could sing a little and I earned really good money at it,unfortunately my mom didn't get to enjoy the fruits of my new found talent for very long,she succumbed to senile dementia coupled with raging alcoholism after a lifetime of working three jobs seven days a week to put my kid brother and me through school,so of course it was the right decision she made back then,she was tired,I was young and fit,it was right that I should go to work and put bread on our table,she had done it for long enough,thank you mom.At the age of nineteen I had the accident that robbed me of my hearing and ended my career in the army,I was blown up by an oxygen cylinder with a faulty gauge,it exploded in my face,and when the dust had finally settled I was blind in my left eye,totally deaf in my left ear and was left with only minimal hearing in my right. Today I can hear again,well I can hear on my right side,it isn't perfect,but with the advances in modern technology and medicine that weren't available back in the early seventies,I am able to hear someone speak without looking at their face and reading their lips,funny thing is I still tend to lip read even though I can hear,I guess I've done it for so long now that it's completely natural to me. Because I wasn't born deaf,my speech after my accident wasn't affected,so unless I have my hearing aids in,people don't know I'm deaf,I like that,it gives me the choice to tell them or not,most times I choose not to,it saves them the effort of shouting their conversation in my face in some misguided effort to"make me hear". As long as they are facing me and speak in a normal volume I can read what their lips are saying,I like to think I'm saving them from becoming tired out by yelling at me,my little gesture of kindness to a hearing world who,for the most part,simply do not understand that just because a person is devoid of hearing,it doesn't make them retarded.This morning,my breathing is okay,I am managing to breathe unaided for now and I will take that all day long,it doesn't look good when your in front of an appeal for government assistance,but it makes my days easier,and I am thankful that,for now at least,my chest is rising and falling easily,just like a normal healthy guy.Well journal,the day has now fully slipped into gear,my wife and our fur babies have finally emerged from our bedroom,so it is time to depart from here and get on with living,until the next time then,may the love of God go with us.