The End?

Its almost been a year since my rape.

i am facing a medical board with the military and have been diagnosed wth PTSD. The higher officials said my case will not be going to court martial due to "lack of evidence for a trial" I found that out on January.

Since last i posted, my husband and i have been abusive on every front, to black eyes and busted lips and eyebrows to emotional manipulation to telling me to get over what happened. i ended up finding supoort elsewhere in another man. i told my husband that it was emotionally unfaithful of me. Hes been drinkning more and i am scared whenever we get into an argument. he agreed to a separation of agreement and for our state it is 6 months of separation before filling for a no fault divorce

the past months i have been suicidal depressed, hardly eat or eat too much of the bad crap. ive gotten to the point where i dont care what happens. and If i hadnt reported what happened to the military then i wouldnt have lost my deployment nor my job. my marriage. im not happy, i am drained everytime i see my husband. everytime i talk to him i am drained. i feel like im a 50's machine and im degrading and corroding away. I have migraines and i have tried killing myself several times. i have gotten help but nothing has helped.

and it all boils down to me inviting the "friend" over so we could honest to God catch up and hang out like we had done previously.

idk