The Dumb Broad

The shrink who intoduced me to "Personification" as a formal therapy tool was working with me on the deep conflicts I was experiencing between my engineering career and my wife role. Hubs and I were in our first separation and the sons were still too young to have many opinions on what a wife should be. I remain ambivilent on how well the exercises worked. The disparity remains substantial, but it is a complex disparity, partly me and partly cultural.

"The Dumb Broad" persona evolved from the disociative episodes I was experiencing in the face of adamant opinions in either camp.

"The only option is________." I'd rather argue with a fence post, thank you. When I can remain objective, it isnae a big problem. The world is chock full of adamant opinions. Silence is typically enough to let the adamant opiner grow bored enough to go away in search of another place to opine and I can get back to problem solving.

The disociative episodes are something else, entirely. I am essentially paralyzed during these episodes, all the way to stuttering painfully if I attempt to speak. The paralysis comes rushing back when I attempt to get back to the disputed task. In Texas, my life was fraught with these pockets of paralysis. The husband, two middle-aged sons and two daughters-in-law are a veritable mother lode of adamant opines on how the family matriarch should be doing every little thing, with not allot of consistency between the opinion sets and zero blessing to discuss the differences between the opinion sets. Add on guarenteed chaos if I attempt to respect all those opinion sets. There are solid reasons these people don't interact enough for first hand knowledge. I trust each of the grown-ups involved to keep track of their own reasons. I don't want to the job of channeling that much adult dysfunction.

Persilly's shots and vehicle maintenence on Boy Toy were solidly in Dumb Broad stasis when I left Texas in March. I had been driving Boy Toy because the boys who brought him were too busy with newer toys to care about him. He was purchased in a power struggle between ES and Hubs. I never have felt safe having an opinion there. No way I was going to get involved in the politics of the more loved vehicles. The Dumb Broad needs the path of least resistence.

Sorting. . . Awaiting the simplicity. . .