The Dragon is NOT my Friend.

My HCV called the other day and wanted to talk.  He had a question:  “Hey Jack, I know there’s always a bit of tension between us.  I mean let’s face it. I’m trying to kill you.  You’re trying to kill me. This leads to… well, you know, tension. But I don’t get why you never call me ‘Hep C’.  You always say ‘Hepatitis C’ which is so formal. Or ‘HCV’,  which is so alphabetical.  Sometimes you call me ‘Dragon’ and that kinda hurts.  Why not just ‘Hep C’ like everyone else?”   Good question, Dragon.  Here’s the answer.  Nicknames and short-forms are a sign of respect. Two guys who have worked together for years, they have nicknames. Soldiers. Athletes. Firemen.  They have nicknames. You don’t waste friendly names on scumbags.  That Ahmadinajad freak running Iran, does anyone call him “Jad”?  Bernie Madoff (hey “Berns”)?  Lee Harvey Oswald (what’s up “Ozzie”?).   Are you following along, Dragon?  Short-forms and fun names are for friends.  You are not my friend.   So there's another one of my hang-ups: I won't say "Hep C".  If you catch me let me know… $10 to the liver foundation.  Be careful out there gang!