The disappointment of setbacks

Today is Sunday afternoon, and after a week-long bout with a stomach flu (or a severe case of IBS) I'm finally feeling better. The constant nausea, aches, chills, and cramping made me feel like I was dying... or wanted to anyway.
Spending the entire weekend on the couch watching television ave me too much idle time to focus on myself in negative ways. Of course, if all my sickness was really the effects of my IBS kicking up again, then I know it was all my own self induced stress. Last Monday's event at group should have really been a non-issue, but I really let it take over my thoughts in very bad ways. I haven't been that sick in a very long time, and the event that preceded it that upset me so much, seems more familiar to me as what has happened in the past. If I can make myself so upset that it effects my health, I've got a way to go before I have a handle on my emotions.
But beyond just that, lying on the couch feeling crappy made me concentrate on how vulnerable I am. I can't stand the thought of how emotionally and financially insecure I am.  I know I can get my life in order, but I lack planning and direction. I can't just sit on the sidelines anymore. I have to make things happen.