The Dimensions of Wellness & Conscious Recovery

I have been using the phrase "conscious recovery" to describe how I decided to stop being pathetic and dysfunctional, and made a conscious effort to be well and achieve my goals: support myself and my family financially, build healthy relationships with my family, and most important, accept and love myself.
The path began with a change in my thinking, a desire to become a "better" person, and heal the dysfunctional relationships I had with people - and with myself.
I had to "hit bottom" first: we were squatting in a half-renovated apartment after about 10 years of functional homelessness (we had a place to stay, sometimes, but it was not stable), also I waslosing jobs serially through my illness or through dysfunctional habits in my marriage, taking medication with intolerable side effects that made me lie down on the floor and caused akathisia (pacing), andlosing all my friends because they couldn't stand how sick & dysfunctional I was and didn't like it that I asked them for money for survival.
During an argument my wife called an ambulance and told them I was having a Bipolar episode. That wasn't true, but once I was in the hospital I told them: I want to get better, and I can't go back home to the dysfunctional conditions there. My social worker wanted to discharge me to a homeless shelter, or send me back home; I told my psychiatrist neither option would support my recovery. He transferred me to a different hospital with better discharge options.
Don't just accept the plan from your doctor or therapist or job counselor etc. Be pro-active and advocate for yourself! If that doesn't work, find another doctor/therapist/counselor.
In that hospital, I found medications that worked well without intolerable side effects, I had psychotherapy with a good psychologist, and I went to a group that discussed Wellness and The Dimensions of Wellness. I began to have hope.
I was discharged to a group home where I could re-launch my business, working on a computer. I continued to go to support groups, and started going to a DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) peer support group, and I eventually became a co-facilitator of the group. I joined a synagogue, for spiritual nourishment and growth. I joined a gym and found a bicycle - I always loved riding a bike, and one day, there was a bicycle by the apartment dumpster, which needed very little work - I do believe in Angels! The important thing is to keep your eyes open so you can receive what Providence provides. It was not the first time I found a bicycle when I needed one :) I got exercise. I went to meetups and met people. I learned to play the spades card game in the hospital, and I joined a spades meetup group which went camping one weekend, so much fun! I became involved in the community for the software I use, Drupal. I became involved with the mental health consumer advocacy and education community.I made friends, other people in the mental health consumer community, and also "normal" people, spades players, and professionals in my software community, and also smart Ivy League grads like me. I built a healthy relationship with my mom for the first time in my life, on my terms. I bought a guitar and resumed playing music, which is so important for my soul and mental health, playing music is like meditation for me.
With another person I paid the rent for my wife's apartment, and sent her money so she wouldn't demand money from our daughter.Eventually I reunited with my wife, we moved into an apartment without the dysfunction, we had fun and a healthy relationship. Through fixing my relationship with my wife, I was able to relate to my daughter better, she could trust me, that I would not take my wife's side in dysfunction.
It all began with consciously working on and transforming myself. I'm not a totally "different" person, I just nurtured the positive parts, and learned to cope with my personal challenges, and I learned how to relate better to people.
It's a continual process. I did not reach a point when my life "worked" and I stopped. I am still growing and learning.
Accept failure.It's part of learning and growth. Nobody succeeds all the time. The most successful people had many failures, and continue to have failures. They get back on the horse, and try again, in a different direction.
Along the way, I learned about "The Dimensions of Wellness." There are many definitions, some say there are 6, others say 7, the list below has 8.
I understood that "being well" requires nurturing ALL aspects of life. I can say that I have made progress in all of them, but there is more progress needed. I need to quit cigarettes again, I resumed smoking last year when I was stressed to the max, my wife was in and out of hospitals, and there was a lot of pressure at work. I thought about quitting New Years Eve, but I wasn't ready. Now I am considering doing it on the anniversary of my wife's death, that seems significant to me. I stopped going to the gym when I became the caretaker for my mom, then my wife, I didn't have time. I stopped riding my bike when I reunited with my wife, because she had a friend who was killed on a bike, and I didn't want to stress her. I need to resume exercise. Pick an achievable goal and work towards it. Baby steps become steady steps.
I was kicked off SSI Disability in February, because I am earning too much income, and I lost my Medicaid insurance. It was scary, but also like a graduation and a rite of passage. I buy my own insurance now, it's better, and I have a new PCP, whom I really like. I asked him for a referral to a new psychiatrist. He also encouraged me to resume psychotherapy. He said, "Medicine cannot treat everything; wellness is in the mind and soul too." He gets it!
Here is a list of The Dimensions of Wellness
fromhttp://www.promoteacceptance.samhsa.gov/10by10/dimensions.aspx
EmotionalCoping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationshipsEnvironmentalGood health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-beingFinancialSatisfaction with current and future financial situationsIntellectualRecognizing creative abilities and finding ways to expandknowledgeand skillsOccupationalPersonal satisfaction and enrichment from ones workPhysicalRecognizing the need for physical activity, healthy foods andsleepSocialDeveloping a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support systemSpiritualExpanding our sense of purpose and meaning in life
It's all common sense - but how many of us neglect our wellness, or don't feel "allowed" to really nurture all our dimensions of wellness? The list reminds me to take care of myself completely. You cannot "be there" for someone else unless you take care of yourself.
Just now I Googled "conscious recovery" - I invented the phrase myself, but I was pretty sure it's used elsewhere. I found a terrific series of articles about "The Path Of Advanced Awareness to Conscious Recovery" - I haven't read the whole series yet, but I think I am going to enjoy it and learn even more. It's about incorporating Eastern Medicine concepts, which makes sense to me. Quotes from the first two articles:
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Abraham Lincoln
Balancing conscious energy in body, mind and spirit leads to greater health, happiness and meaning in your life. Eastern Wisdom
here's the link to the first article:http://www.serenescenemagazine.com/articles/?p=2555
Some very few people helped us financially and in other ways when we were struggling. Now I am able topay it forward: I am helping a friend, a single mom, regain stability after her boyfriend violated probation and got locked up. I'm helping a couple of other people when they can't afford food. I am planning with them to become stable. I buy cheap used laptops and donate them to students, agencies, others who can't afford to buy one.