the days are moving on

    Sometimes I seem to be stoped in like a vortex of such but quite aware of time moving forward and the world pressing onward. I go into the motions daily sometimes not knowing what or how to think, how to proceed, not wanting to move forward and geting into the Sink of the world, just wanting to stand in my little spot while the world moves around me sometimes in quite a blurr. I often wish that someone else could truely know atleast a few things i go through or some of the feelings,...... I go though and try, cuase I have to,..to deal with on a daily basis, and sometimes minute to minute... My job is not going well at all, they have given me only 2 Jobs on 2 days of the whole week to do,.. this will not pay the bills, the taxes the loans,.. and there is absoulutely nothing I can do to change  this fact,,, either Fact,.... I don't know if this is going to be a new Norm or if it will change in the future for the better or even get worse,.. and I truely do not wish to think about it, Nor do I wish to truely know the answer if it could even be apparent in this state in time,... I am hoping, hoping so greatly that my old boss comes back to the job, and does not decide to go elsewhere,.. I am so afraid that he is going to do so, and I will be just One pawn in the Kog that will have no choice but to Self Distruct, No options Left, and the Distruct Sequence laid in the computer with a probability for no last minute abort command entered... In a way it might be a good thing, if I get to go to the next galaxy that my mom and my sweet carole has gone to... if Only,.. that would truely be something... and maybe one day in the far future Teresa will join us.. I sit here with that strange feeling,... tried not to go to Fast food today but felt I was in withdraw and ended up going,.. yes, I think im hooked atleast on the sodas at the moment. it rained tonight,.... My friend called with a Computer mouse problem, I think hers has truely died,.. she has had it for Eons and Eons,.. i bought an extra one years ago, not sure why, never used it,. it would not work on my system then, I believe, Im going to give it to her tomarrow, I think it will work for her and fix the mouseless problem.   Michael