The day the words came "I have Cancer"
I got married very young barely 16 years old, very immature,,,had no ideal how to cook, clean....nothing...but got married anyway...didn't really want to but was not who I am today to take a stand and say NO...so just went along with it....while I just felt like someone just watching from outside the screen door...plans were made, dresses were prepared...Actually, I had no say..not even the wedding date. Oh, we choose a date, but it had to be changed, my Aunt was going on vacation the week we wanted to get married....so I went along with it......So July 26, 1963 we got married on a rainy night (I have read somewhere that if it rains on your wedding things will be rough.....so true now as I look back....
We had four boys, my husband went to work, we bought houses, went to church, we were the good family that lived on the block...Happy boys, nice home, good job and parents that loved their kids....and took care of each other....
Trips were taken, water slides brought, laughter and joy, wanted the kids to see the United States....so we traveled from where we were living at that time(we moved several times due to hubby's job) We bought a Motor Home and headed for a 3 week fast tour of the west....1977 we went from Ill to CA. to the ND/SD back to Ill. A grand trip for the kids and us to see what the other side of the world looked like besides our small little town of Owensboro, Ky....The Beauty to me was overwhelming.....We got to the Ill, Ind line, and stopped at this really nice camping spot.....large lake and the guys took it in.....I remember sitting on the sandy beach looking out at their splashing in the water, diving, just having such a good time in the water a father and his four boys....then I noticed something...I noticed even from the distance how tired my husband looked...He was in his early 30's very strong, construction worker....so why was this person I was looking at playing with my children, his children looking like an old worn out tired man.....They came in from the lake and I decided not to say anything at that time....
1978 we had moved back toward home, but ended up buying a home in Evansville, In....that summer we took the East coast tour....wanted to see some of my heritage, NY, Maine, into Canada....It was all so different from where we were from.....and so different from the West....It was a very interesting tour and we enjoyed the part of where we ended up in Harlan, Ny....a friend from NY later told me a good thing it was a Sunday or we would not be there talking....Hmmm..
We had a good life, we owned 150 acres in Ky, a new home in Indiana, the practical things you need, cars, furniture, and our income was good for those years...so we were living the happy American Dream......we thought...
1979, it had been a beautiful fall that year....there are certain things that happen in you life and you never forget where you were, what you were doing.....
I had enjoyed the day....the sun was shinning, the house was done, I was waiting for the kids to get home from school....I had gone upstairs to our bedroom and was watching a soap until the kids got home....About 10 minutes later, I hear the door open.......I hear steps coming upstairs thinking it was the kids, but thought they sure were quite for four boys.....as I continue to sit there and wait figuring they are trying to scare me, so I waited.
Just as I was expecting the boys to jump around the bedroom door and go boo...in comes my husband....with a look of shock on my face, I say to him, what are you doing home.....He stood there silently...
Finally, after what seemed like hours....now first I must insert here, my husband look jokes, making people laugh, just a having fun person, he opens his mouth to tell me something, then stops......
Sept 13, 1979, a beautiful fall day.....He finally says.....I just thought I would come home in person to tell you I have Cancer.............That day was the day our world, our family as we knew it fell apart......Again, he says, I have Cancer.......then he turns to leave and says to me I will be back, but I have to go close down the job I was working on and get my tools................He walked back down the stairs and out the door...................
I sat there on the edge of my bed, tears rolling down my cheeks, wondering, what just happened......What to do...What now...
The front door opens again, it is the children home from school....Laughing, happy and hungry......as they have no ideal....
That less than an hour ago.............our Lives had now changed forever!!!!!
to be cont.....
We had four boys, my husband went to work, we bought houses, went to church, we were the good family that lived on the block...Happy boys, nice home, good job and parents that loved their kids....and took care of each other....
Trips were taken, water slides brought, laughter and joy, wanted the kids to see the United States....so we traveled from where we were living at that time(we moved several times due to hubby's job) We bought a Motor Home and headed for a 3 week fast tour of the west....1977 we went from Ill to CA. to the ND/SD back to Ill. A grand trip for the kids and us to see what the other side of the world looked like besides our small little town of Owensboro, Ky....The Beauty to me was overwhelming.....We got to the Ill, Ind line, and stopped at this really nice camping spot.....large lake and the guys took it in.....I remember sitting on the sandy beach looking out at their splashing in the water, diving, just having such a good time in the water a father and his four boys....then I noticed something...I noticed even from the distance how tired my husband looked...He was in his early 30's very strong, construction worker....so why was this person I was looking at playing with my children, his children looking like an old worn out tired man.....They came in from the lake and I decided not to say anything at that time....
1978 we had moved back toward home, but ended up buying a home in Evansville, In....that summer we took the East coast tour....wanted to see some of my heritage, NY, Maine, into Canada....It was all so different from where we were from.....and so different from the West....It was a very interesting tour and we enjoyed the part of where we ended up in Harlan, Ny....a friend from NY later told me a good thing it was a Sunday or we would not be there talking....Hmmm..
We had a good life, we owned 150 acres in Ky, a new home in Indiana, the practical things you need, cars, furniture, and our income was good for those years...so we were living the happy American Dream......we thought...
1979, it had been a beautiful fall that year....there are certain things that happen in you life and you never forget where you were, what you were doing.....
I had enjoyed the day....the sun was shinning, the house was done, I was waiting for the kids to get home from school....I had gone upstairs to our bedroom and was watching a soap until the kids got home....About 10 minutes later, I hear the door open.......I hear steps coming upstairs thinking it was the kids, but thought they sure were quite for four boys.....as I continue to sit there and wait figuring they are trying to scare me, so I waited.
Just as I was expecting the boys to jump around the bedroom door and go boo...in comes my husband....with a look of shock on my face, I say to him, what are you doing home.....He stood there silently...
Finally, after what seemed like hours....now first I must insert here, my husband look jokes, making people laugh, just a having fun person, he opens his mouth to tell me something, then stops......
Sept 13, 1979, a beautiful fall day.....He finally says.....I just thought I would come home in person to tell you I have Cancer.............That day was the day our world, our family as we knew it fell apart......Again, he says, I have Cancer.......then he turns to leave and says to me I will be back, but I have to go close down the job I was working on and get my tools................He walked back down the stairs and out the door...................
I sat there on the edge of my bed, tears rolling down my cheeks, wondering, what just happened......What to do...What now...
The front door opens again, it is the children home from school....Laughing, happy and hungry......as they have no ideal....
That less than an hour ago.............our Lives had now changed forever!!!!!
to be cont.....
Replies
Sandi, how fast our lives can change...this I know very well. It is hard to be \"assured\" of anything in this life. Maybe that is one reason my faith has gotten stronger over the years. At least my God is one thing (Person) that remains true and steadfast and unchanging...
Love+Hugs, Donna
Such a sad remembrance along with the love and happiness a couple share throughout their lives. Two things also stand out to me on a personal note....actually three....I married right out of high school (17 yrs) to get away from my sucky homelife and it was RAINING (warning for sure) and also, Brandon was born on July 26th. I also relate to the happiness. So sad to lose a loving husband at an early age...or any age....but you were still so young....you did a lot of living in that time span with all of your travels. I can\'t help but think that God was helping you make those days memorable and meaningful. Thank you for sharing a part of your life....it is an interesting read.....hope your smiles outnumber the tears are you write and remember....love, dale....brandon\'s mom
Wonderful memories and black ones too...those are the quilts of our lives aren\'t they?
I was also a 17 yo bride, and mother... we mom\'s have lots in common...
Hugs and wish I were there to wipe your tears.
maryLou
Life is so uncertain. All we can do is the best we can do and be the best we can be. Thank you for sharing.
Hugs, Marlene
You had some wonderful years. Not everyone gets that.
Sandi it must hurt to remember this. Even the good times hurt because they are gone forever, but remembering that awful moment of finding out your husband has cancer must hurt so much, and having your son die of cancer too years later must be unbearable. God has dealt you a very hard hand in life. Sending love as always, Terry
Reading your narrative feels as if it happened yesterday as it is so vivid in your heart and mind. I\'m so sorry about your husband and the awful disease of cancer has robbed you of the loves of your life. It feels as if you did pack a lot into those years and those memories are with you always. I just wish they could have continued in the way that you had hoped for. Thank you for sharing, Sandi. Hugs, Joanie
Sandi, life is so fragile and can change in an instant. I am sorry cancer has impacted your life, not once but twice. Love and peace, Linda
Life on earth sure is a mixed bag, isn\'t it? You and your ex started so young and made such a grand life ~ I\'m in awe! Looking forward to the next installment of your story...I know that this part of your story actually has a happy ending...
Take care, sweet Sandi.
Love and big hugs ~ Debbie