The Day My Best Friend Died

Growing up as a small child I didn't have friends until I met a sweet, caring, Jesus filled Girl in Elementary School, I was in 3rd grade, she was in 5th grade, we didn't let our age difference hold us back.  My mom was a single mother with three children, we didn't have much but we never went without either; friends were always welcome in our home, my mom decided it was time to join a church as a family; to my surprise my best friend went to that exact church, it soon came to be that her and I would spend the night at each other's houses, and spend time together constantly (You know how kids are) our parents always knew where we were we were either at my house or hers, before we knew it we both Graduated from High School, She married her Sweet Heart who happened to grow up with us in church, about a year into their marriage they had their first child a Daughter and they made me the God Mother which I was more than thrilled to hold that title, I just never expected anything would ever happen to either one of them to were I had to be the mother of her children, a year or more later they had their 2nd blessing a little Boy we were all so excited, for awhile her and I lost contact but we some how got back in touch only to loose contact again after getting married myself, my ex-husband was very abusive and would not allow me to converse with her; after a year of battling abuse I divorced and moved back home with my parents, I finally got back in touch with my Best Friend, I had gone through so much that I took an overdose of meds and ended up in the hospital after my divorce was final even though it was abusive I have struggled all my life with low self esteem and thought no one loves me and I thought I was the ugliest person on earth and the only people who would want to date me or marry me was people who would run me over, abuse me and what not.  After getting out of the Hospital I called my Best Friend we all got together the kids too and had dinner and then went out a couple of more times after that, her husband of course by now since growing up with him in church was now my Best Friend as well, we both love her very much she was so sweet, caring, always knew what to say and what not to say at the right time.  When we were growing up her and her husband which they weren't married at the time because we were all teenagers at the time and another great friend who became my boyfriend put a play together for our church in the play my Best Friend and her Husband was the husband and wife and me and my other great friend was husband and wife in the play so the guys came up with this concoction that hey if we are married in the play then why not become girlfriend and boyfriend so we did, my great friend sadly killed himself  I miss him terribly in 2004 I found out that my Best Friend's Mom had Breast Cancer and had to have a double mastectomy a week or two later the day of my Nieces 1st Birthday after the party my mom, me and Grandmother came home to find a message on our phone to call their home, this is very odd, this just doesn't happen so we were wondering if my Best Friend's mom had past away or something so my mom called him back and said how's ..... doing (sorry I don't want to use names on here) and he responded with she's fine why do you ask, now this is my mom talking to my Best Friends Dad, and she said well Kim told me that she had cancer and had to have surgery and he said oh she's okay but that's the least of our worries at the moment and then proceeded to tell her that the day before my Best Friend came home from work not feeling well she told her husband she was going in to lie down for a minute to watch the kids awhile later he went in to check on her and found that she had passed away, after my mom heard the news she said WHAT and then asked if there was any arrangements made yet and so when she got off the phone she was just sitting there in shock, my grandmother said who died and I said what do you mean who died no one died and my mom at that moment said ........ I too said WHAT and that was the last thing I can remember up until we went to the viewing and one there were so many people there is was just amazing they were lined up out the door, it was such a warm feeling that she affected that many lives, I finally got to the end and parents, and brother were there greeting everyone along with her husband and parents that I all knew when I got there her mom took my hand and walked me up to the casket to see her it still chokes me up telling the story.  I miss her so much, I wish everyday that I could see her one more time, one more minute to say my goodbyes, I know she is with me in spirit always, when she passed away the monday after we buried her I had to have surgery to replace a port that was implanted in my chest, she was supposed to be there that day, in Feb. that following year the port got infected the infection was  Sepsis not only did I have an highly deadly infection but at the end of the port was a blood clot which broke off when they removed my port and went into my lungs, I had endocarditis (infection of your heart) and myocarditis (infection around your heart) I also had a blood clot in one of the chambers of my heart which they wanted to do open heart surgery to remove it but the risk was to great, they said to call all my family in to say their final goodbyes because they didn't think I was going to make it, I spent 6 weeks in the hospital on I.V. Antibiotics and then I had to take the pill form for a year, I also developed another blood clot in my lung so I had to be readmitted for treatment so I had to be put on Blood Thinners for roughly a year with a couple of trips to the hospital with hemorrhaging but apparently my journey in life is not over I don't know why, but it's not my place to ask the question why I just have to have faith and continue walking down the path God is leading me down.